Argylle isn’t likely to gain the fame and following of other fictional spies like James Bond, Jack Ryan, and Jason Bourne. The slick, charming spy with a weird box haircut is introduced in director Matthew Vaughn’s 2024 action comedy as the creation of reclusive author Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard).
The PG-13 film begins with the titular character (Henry Cavill) trapped in a room with multiple assassins. He quickly uses his skills and a smoke screen to escape and gives chase to a double agent (Dua Lipa) trying to flee the country.
Cut to Conway who’s doing a celebrity author reading to help publicize her latest novel. To her fans, Elly seems to have it all. Her writing’s so descriptive and realistic that fans even ask if she’s a real-life spy. She laughs and credits her success to the extensive research she does. That’s why her novels are so popular.
Elly’s relatively calm life takes a drastic change the following day when she, accompanied by her pet cat, travels by train to see her mother. A disheveled, homeless-looking drifter takes a seat across from her, introduces himself as Aidan (Sam Rockwell), and tells her that he loves her books. Oh, and he’s a real spy.
Before Elly can even start to take in what Aidan’s telling her, every other passenger on the train gets up and tries to kill her. Aidan whips into action, taking all of them out, with Elly watching in shock and awe as she keeps visually inserting her fictional spy, Argylle, protecting her instead of Aidan.
After saving her from the assassins and exiting the train via a backpack parachute, Aidan explains that her spy novels aren’t fiction but mirror a real-life evil spy organization called The Division. They’re after her because they believe she knows the location of a “master key” which can expose them.
Directed by Matthew Vaughn (The King’s Man, Kick-Ass), Argylle is a bloated, convoluted, and derivative action comedy with too many twists and painfully silly action scenes. The film is simply ludicrous.
Sam Rockwell’s talents are wasted as Aidan, the goofy/grumpy master spy who’s protecting Elly. There’s hardly any difference between Rockwell’s Aidan and Francis, the character he played in the 2015 action-comedy Mr. Right. Actually, Francis was more likable.
Bryce Dallas Howard is miscast as the frumpy, anxiety-ridden reclusive author who gets pulled into the world of espionage. Howard and Rockwell have zero chemistry on screen. In fact, Rockwell has more chemistry with the CGI pet cat.
The overused plot is a tired one: a quiet, anti-social author gets pulled into an adventure similar to the novels she writes. That was put to much better use in 1984’s Romancing the Stone, starring Kathleen Turner, or more recently in the 2022 movie The Lost City, starring Sandra Bullock. It’s been done to death…please stop!
Asinine, tedious, and trying way too hard to get laughs, Argylle is an early contender for the worst movie of 2024.
GRADE: D
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for strong violence and action, some strong language
Release Date: February 2, 2024
Running Time: 2 hours 19 minutes
Studio: An Apple Original Film released in theaters worldwide in partnership with Universal Pictures
