‘Hall Pass’ Quotes – The Funniest Lines

Jason Sudeikis, Richard Jenkins and Owen Wilson in 'Hall Pass'
Jason Sudeikis, Richard Jenkins and Owen Wilson in 'Hall Pass' © New Line Cinema
Written and directed by Peter and Bobby Farrell, Hall Pass is an R-rated comedy about two couples who are given hall passes – permission to cheat – for one wild week. Starring Jason Sudeikis, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer, and Christina Applegate, the R-rated comedy hit theaters on February 25, 2011.
Jason Sudeikis as Fred: “You know what I love about divorcees? They love sex.”
Owen Wilson as Rick: “Is that true?”
Fred: “I don’t know, I’d like to think so.”

Fred: “What about the known correlation about floppy boobs and large mouth vaginas?” “Hey, I’m Billy Big Mouth Vagina.” (singing) “Home, home on the range. Where the big mouth vaginas feel strange. Where nothing is good and it can’t fit your wood.”
Christina Applegate as Grace: “Large mouth vaginas?”
Jenna Fischer as Maggie: “You thought that was funny?”
Rick: “No.”
Maggie: “Really, you were laughing like a Hyena when he said it.”
Grace: “What the hell is wrong with you two? You are completely obsessed with sex.”
Fred: “Honey, obsessed is a very strong word.”
Grace: “Oh yeah, this morning you left the computer on cockgobblers.com.”
Fred: “I get my weather from that site.”

Rick: “You know how we dominated our JV basketball?”
Fred: “Yeah, our senior year.”
Rick: “What’s this?”
Fred: “Pick up lines to get the ball rolling.”
Rick: (reading) “You must be from Ireland because when I look at you my penis is Dublin.”
Rick: (saying to 2 girls at the bar) “So are you women from Ireland, per chance?”
Girl: “No.”
Rick: Oh I’m very surprised to hear that news, because when I look at you my wiener doubles in size.”
Richard Jenkins as Coakley: “Check this out. Hot, not.”
Rick: “That’s awesome. You’re like A Beautiful Mind.”
Coakley: “That girl in the black is checking you out.”
Fred: “The one who looks like the chief from Cuckoo’s Nest?”
Coakley: “No, the one sitting next to her.”
Coakley: “Well, that may be plausible, if her lips weren’t shaking and her fingernails were not chewed down to the nub.” “And that bag, man, is a little too big to be bringing into a club, unless she needs room for a $5 footlong.” “So you have a woman that quit smoking. She’s tense, she’s hungry. It all adds up to what?”
Fred: “That woman needs something in her mouth.”
Coakley: “That’s my boy, let’s go!”