What do you get when five assassins, a silver briefcase, a distraught father, a mobster’s son, and a poisonous snake are all on the fastest train in Japan? You get the R-rated action-comedy Bullet Train starring Brad Pitt.
The film focuses on Ladybug (Pitt), an unlucky assassin who’s recently left therapy to go back to work for his handler (Sandra Bullock) on what she promises is a simple assignment: to snatch and grab a silver briefcase that’s on the Bullet Train.
Ladybug’s mission becomes much more complicated, however, due to the other assassins onboard. Among the motley collection of professional killers are Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry) and Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), two quirky British assassins who are known as “The Twins” and who are babysitting the son of a ruthless mobster known as “The White Death.” Then there’s The Prince (Joey King), a young woman who uses her youthful appearance and school-girl clothes to disarm her targets into thinking she’s just a sweet, scared kid.
Also on board the world’s fastest train are The Hornet (Zazie Beetz), a killer who always uses poison on her victims, and The Wolf (Bad Bunny), a former enforcer who has boarded the train looking to avenge his murdered wife. Oh, and last but not least, a poisonous snake that was stolen from the zoo.
As Ladybug repeatedly attempts to exit the train with the briefcase, he keeps getting into deadly altercations with the other assassins. He and his handler begin to realize that something else is going on and that all the assassins seem to be after the silver case. To make matters evenly deadlier, The White Death is waiting at the final stop in Kyoto with a small army of hitmen to finish off anyone still alive on the train.
Directed by David Leitch (Deadpool 2, Atomic Blonde) and based on the Japanese novel Maria Beetle by Kôtarô Isaka, Bullet Train is a tongue-in-cheek, dark action-comedy with an impressive cast and plenty of mindless, chaotic action that goes on way too long for its own good. It’s a live-action Looney Toons with Brad Pitt in place of Bugs Bunny.
Brad Pitt is hilarious and perfectly cast as Ladybug, the in-over-his-head former assassin who’s trying to stay in his Zen zone as he continuously gets into deadly altercations with professional killers. It’s Pitt’s performance that makes the film worthwhile to sit through. And Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson have great chemistry as Lemon and Tangerine, two killers who always work together as partners but who bicker and argue more than they actually kill.
The biggest problem with the film, besides its overly long running time that could easily have been trimmed down by 20 minutes, is the over-the-top, violent, blood-splattering fight scenes that’ll force some audience members to wince and look away from the screen for nearly half of the film. In other words, go into it knowing you’re in for a lot of bloody fight scenes.
Although it’s too long and too bloody, a terrific performance by Brad Pitt and the strong supporting cast make Bullet Train a fun, action-packed, comical, and entertaining ride. Hop on board, if you don’t mind plenty of violence.
GRADE: B-
MPAA Rating: R for pervasive language, brief sexuality, and strong and bloody violence
Running Time: 2 hours 6 minutes
Release Date: August 5, 2022
Studio: Columbia Pictures
