Anchorman Quotes – The Funniest Lines

AnchormanReleased in 2004, Anchorman earned back its $26 million budget over its first weekend and picked up $84.1 million domestically before exiting theaters. The PG-13 film continues to be popular on DVD and so giving the greenlight to a sequel was a real no-brainer. And despite the fact Anchorman 2 isn’t arriving until early 2013, no doubt fans of the first film will still turn out in droves to check out Will Ferrell back as Ron Burgundy, Steve Carell returning as Brick Tamland, Paul Rudd playing Brian Fantana, David Koechner reprising his role as Champ Kind, and Christina Applegate returning as Veronica Corningstone.

Check out some of the funniest/most memorable lines from the first Anchorman:

Ron Burgundy: [to dog] “You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.”

Ron Burgundy: “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.”

Frank Vitchard (played by Luke Wilson): “I am gonna straight-up murder your ass.”

Brian Fantana: “No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.” Ron Burgundy: “It’s quite pungent.”
Brian Fantana: “Oh yeah.”
Ron Burgundy: “It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. In a good way.”
Brian Fantana: “Yep.”
Ron Burgundy: “Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.”
Brian Fantana: “They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works every time.”

Veronica Corningstone: “Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72% sure that I love you.”

Ron Burgundy: “I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.”

Ron Burgundy: “You are a smelly pirate hooker.”
Veronica Corningstone: “You look like a blueberry.”
Ron Burgundy: “Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica] “You’ve got a dirty whorish mouth.”

Veronica Corningstone: “Take me to Pleasure Town.”
Ron Burgundy: “Oh, we’re going there.”

Veronica Corningstone: “My God, what is that smell? Oh.”
Brian Fantana: “That’s the smell of desire, my lady.”
Veronica Corningstone: “God no, it smells like, like a used diaper filled with Indian food. Oh, excuse me.”
Brian Fantana: “You know, desire smells like that to some people.”
News Station Employee: “What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.”
News Station Employee: “Smells like Bigfoot’s d*ck.”

Ron Burgundy: “You stay classy, San Diego. I’m Ron Burgundy?

Ed Harken (played by Fred Willard): “Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?”

Brian Fantana: “Don’t get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they don’t belong in the newsroom.
Champ Kind: It is anchorman, not anchorlady. And that is a scientific fact.”

Ron Burgundy: “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot right to the babymaker.”

Ron Burgundy: “Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

Champ Kind: “It jumped up a notch.”

Ron Burgundy: “It did, didn’t it?”

Brick Tamland: “Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.”

Ron Burgundy: “I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?”

Brick Tamland: “Yeah, there were horses and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.” 
Ron Burgundy: “Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.”

Brick Tamland: “I love carpet. I love desk.”
Ron Burgundy: “Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?”

Brick Tamland: “I love lamp.”

Ron Burgundy: “Do you really love the lamp or are you just saying it because you saw it?”

Brick Tamland: “I love lamp. I love lamp.”