It’s not truly a new season of FX’s Fargo until the fake disclaimer advising this is a true story appears on the screen. That happens three minutes into season five episode one, “The Tragedy of the Commons.”
Before that, Fargo fans are advised that “Minnesota Nice” is an aggressively pleasant demeanor put on no matter how rotten life becomes. And “rotten” is a gentle word to describe the mood at the middle school’s Fall Festival Planning Committee meeting. Punches are thrown, hair is pulled, and the woman we’ll be cheering for this season – Dorothy ‘Dot’ Lyon (Juno Temple) – sits, jaw-dropped, scanning the room. She advises her daughter, Scotty (Sienna King), that it’s time to make an exit and to fight back (or rather, bite back) if anyone chases them.
Dot escalates the situation by tasing a man who tries to stop her, and then she’s so caught up in the moment that she also accidentally tases a cop. Officers immediately take her into custody, and Minnesota Police Deputy Indira Olmstead (Richa Moorjani) drives her to the station, all the while wondering what this world is coming to.
All Dot knows is that you don’t come at a momma lion (or Lyon, in this case) when she’s got her cub.
(These events take place in Minnesota in 2019.)
Dot’s booked into jail, nervously asking if her fingerprints are going into a national database…our first clue that Dot might have a few skeletons hiding in her closet. She’s not there long before her loving hubby, Wayne (David Rysdahl), fetches her. Dot’s day gets much worse when he reminds her they need to head over to his mother’s estate for Christmas card photos. (It’s not even Halloween yet.)
Dot worries she might have lice from being locked up, and Wayne proves he’s a caring husband by revealing her grabbed her makeup, hair products, and frock. Wayne assures Dot that Scotty’s going to be okay, that she’s not permanently scarred by her mom getting locked up in the Hoosegow. (For those born this century, that’s slang for jail.)
Dot’s a little concerned Wayne told his mom what happened. Wayne stammers out the excuse that his mom has all the important connections, so she needs to be in the loop. Dot understands but doesn’t like it.
They arrive at the estate (Scotty’s already there) and the info dump from this first visit is both staggering and hysterical. Fact: Lorraine Lyon (Jennifer Jason Leigh) is a fearsome beast with a sharp tongue and so much money that she never needs to hold it. Even though it’s just family and a sprinkling of her employees, Lorraine insists on making a grand entrance down the staircase, berating her majordomo, Danish Graves (David Foley), for walking in front of her. (We see you, Lorraine, we see you.)
She calls Scotty “the crossdresser” and Dot “Wayne’s outlaw wife” before forcing her alcoholic husband to choose between his drink and a rifle in the family Christmas photo. Lorraine is the epitome of a cold fish.
Dot, Wayne, and Lorraine also hold guns to, as Lorraine claims, demonstrate strength. Wayne’s so intimated by his mom that he doesn’t even want to ask if they’re allowed to stay for dinner afterward, even though poor Dot is starving. Luck’s on Dot’s side as they are, in fact, allowed to stay for dinner with the Attorney General, who says he’ll look into Dot’s legal troubles.
Wayne tells those gathered he was worried when he heard she was in jail, and when Dot tries to say it was an accident, Danish shuts her down. Under no circumstances is she to admit to anything. (Side note: If you ever notice Garnish written in place of Danish, know that my brain insists Garnish is a better name.)
Lorraine is stunned that Dot was at the meeting to help raise money for the library. “Can’t you just give money like a normal person?” asks Lorraine. (Jennifer Jason Leigh is fabulous as the overbearing, pretentious matriarch.) Lorraine reminds her son he has a trust, and if it’s nothing frivolous, he should request funds from Danish.
Dot survives dinner, but she’s in no mood for a tumble with Wayne later in bed. In fact, she jokingly warns that she’ll tase him if he touches her. Wayne understands because that’s just the sort of guy he is.
The scene switches to the Tillman family gathered around an outdoor table, saying a blessing before a meal. Roy Tillman (Jon Hamm) leads the prayer at the head of the table, and as he opens his eyes, Dot’s eyes flash open in bed.
Morning arrives, and Wayne suggests to Dot that she should stay away from school for a bit. (You think?) He’ll drop off Scotty for her. Dot sees her family off and busies herself knitting, unaware she’s about to have a doozy of a day that makes spending time in the Hoosegow seem like a walk in the park.
A man wearing a hood and trench coat pauses inches from her sliding glass door. She runs upstairs seconds before he peers in and enters through the unlocked door. He spots her ball of yarn on the floor and notices it’s moving. Another man enters, and hooded figure #1, Ole Munch (Sam Spruell), sends him upstairs with a hammer. Ole follows and they enter Dot’s bedroom. The yarn is on the floor at the base of the bed, but there’s no sign of Dot.
The second guy (Devon Bostick) creeps toward the bathroom, opens the door, and has his ski mask immediately set on fire by Dot, courtesy of hairspray and a lighter. As intruder #2 attempts to save his face from melting, Dot makes her move and holds Ole at bay long enough to make a run for it.
Unfortunately, she trips over a laundry basket and her yarn and takes a tumble down the stairs. Both men remove their masks and stand by her prone body, unsure if she died in the fall. She didn’t, of course, and was smart enough to grab an ice skate, which she uses to slash Ole’s face – nearly detaching his ear as he grabs her leg.
Dot can’t get away and they corner her, with ski mask dude suggesting they knock out her teeth since they’re not allowed to kill her.
A few hours later, Wayne picks up Scotty at school after Dot doesn’t show up to get her. The front door’s wide open and Wayne knows something’s wrong. He calls out from the doorway and sees blood on the floor, along with the weapon that caused it, at the base of the stairs.
Deputy Indira Olmstead arrives to investigate, and Wayne immediately lets it be known he tossed his cookies in the bathroom. That’ll be his DNA, dontcha know.
Dot’s cell is in the kitchen but she’s nowhere to be seen. Wayne also points out there’s a burnt hat upstairs. Indira looks around and can’t figure out what went down.
Wayne heads over to his mom’s office, and Danish has landed on the assumption that this is a kidnapping. They should receive a ransom demand soon, and Lorraine wonders why anyone would think she’d pay to get a “low-rent skirt” her son impregnated back. Wayne whines about the description, and Lorraine quickly shuts him down. Poor Wayne doesn’t stand a chance with two such fierce women in his life.
They have kidnap insurance, but the real question is, do they bring in the cops? Lorraine thinks they should handle this with their own people.
Deputy Indira Olmstead wraps up her day and returns home to a huge stack of past-due bills. Meanwhile, her good-for-nothing husband, Lars (Lukas Gage), is in the garage practicing his golf swing. He doesn’t care about how her day went and is more concerned that he’s slicing right. Lars confirms he just paid $2500 to play in the regionals…and that’s $2500 they don’t have. But, again, he doesn’t care. It’s all about his needs and his golf “career.” (Even though he sucks.)
The lazy bum also just bought a huge – and pricey – golf simulator for their garage. When Indira suggests that he go back to work, he says no. Lars needs to follow his ridiculous dream of being a professional golfer.
The kidnappers are driving through the night, and the guy with the destroyed face asks if they can stop at a veterinarian. (He’s seen too many gangster films.) Dot pipes up from the backseat, warning he’s going to get infected and it could affect his brain.
Minutes later, a cop car lights up behind them, and the burned dude admits he stole the truck they’re in. They pull over and Dot immediately opens the door and runs past the squad car, heading toward a gas station. (It’s the only building around for miles.) Ole sprays the cop car with bullets and shoots the driver, while the second officer, North Dakota Deputy Witt Farr (Lamorne Morris), runs to the gas station. He’s just seconds behind Dot and pauses outside, peering into the darkness to see if he’s being pursued.
A gunshot rings out and Witt takes a bullet to the leg but manages to hobble into the store. He orders the clerk to get down and then helps Dot cut off her bindings. She’s already discovered there’s a bathroom in the back, and as the lights go out inside the store, she spreads lighter fluid around the front of the store. Dot then grabs glow sticks and two large bags of ice, proving she’s a woman who knows how to take care of herself.
A noise from the bathroom draws her attention, and she discovers the window’s broken. Burned guy is currently occupying the toilet stall. She tosses a glow stick in front of the stall and quietly backs out the bathroom door far enough to grab the bags of ice.
All this is going on as Witt bandages his wound. He discovers the clerk doesn’t have a weapon, only an air horn.
All hell breaks loose when Ole tosses something through the station’s front glass door and Witt fires, giving away his position.
In the bathroom, the shattering door causes Dot to make a noise and burned face dude also opens fire. He has no idea what he’s shooting at – the fire destroyed much of his vision – and Dot uses the noise as cover while she kicks over one bag of ice, causing it to spread out on the floor in front of the stall. When he emerges from the stall, she hits him in the face with the other bag. He slips on the ice on the floor and busts open his head on the toilet seat.
One down, one to go.
Ole carefully watches his step as he enters the store and scans the area. The clerk pops up behind the cash register and blows the air horn. He won’t live long enough to regret that decision. Ole shoots him dead without even bothering to turn his head.
Witt stands up in an aisle and fires, emptying his gun as Ole hits the floor. Ole wasn’t hit and uses a mirror to try and locate Witt. While he’s distracted, Dot hits Ole in the head with a shovel, knocking him out. She grabs Ole’s rifle and aims it at him but doesn’t shoot. Instead, she responds to Witt’s call for help.
He’s losing a lot of blood and Dot makes a tourniquet to stop the bleeding. Witt asks where she learned to do this, and Dot replies, “It’s not my first getaway.”
She won’t tell Witt her name.
By the time Dot checks on Ole, he’s left the store. Advertisements for pancakes are scattered where his body was and Dot stares at them, thinking about how her daughter loves her Bisquick pancakes.
Sirens draw closer as Witt gets to his feet, claiming he’s going to put his unknown savior in for a medal. Dot misses out on this compliment as she’s already fled the scene.
Wayne and Scotty return home, and as he tucks his daughter into bed, he assures her they’ll get Mom back. Wayne doesn’t go to bed and instead sits in a chair in the den, waiting for word on Dot.
Wayne drifts off and doesn’t hear Dot coming through the door. He’s jarred awake by a noise, arms himself with something heavy, and follows bloody footprints into the kitchen. Dot’s whipping up pancakes, and Wayne, literally, breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Dot lies and says she was just out clearing her head and must have cut herself before she left. She also lies and says the burned ski mask is the result of her putting winter stuff out too close to the curlers. Dot doesn’t have a cover story for the blood coming from two different people – neither of which is her.
Dot can’t believe he told his mom she was abducted and thinks the whole idea is silly. She insists she had a bad day, reached her breaking point, and took off to clear her head. It’s just that simple.
It’s obvious Wayne wants to believe her, and so for now, he does.
* * * * * * * *
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 2 “Trials and Tribulations” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 3 “The Paradox of Intermediate Transactions” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 4 “Insolubilia” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 5 “The Tiger” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 6 “The Tender Trap” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 episode 7 “Linda” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 8 “Blanket” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 9 “The Useless Hand” Recap
- Fargo Season 5 Episode 10 “Bisquik” Finale Recap
