After leaving us with “the kiss” at the end of episode 11, Fox’s Lucifer season two episode 12 begins with Lucifer (Tom Ellis) and Chloe (Lauren German) getting all hot and heavy. (She even rips off his shirt!) He asks if she’s sure she wants to do this and then Halloween-ish devil horns sprout out of his head. “I see you’ve found my love handles,” jokes Lucifer. Yep, it’s all a dream but still fun to watch.
Chloe wakes up after the sex dream to find Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) sitting in a chair next to her bed, munching on popcorn, and wondering how “it” was. Maze imitates Chloe holding onto Lucifer’s horns and wants an explanation, but Chloe kicks her out of the bedroom without offering one. Maze tells her to loosen up and actually have sex.
Lucifer pays a visit to Dr. Linda (Rachael Harris), assuring her he’s going to take it slowly this time. He’s projecting his feelings onto Chloe, saying she must be overwhelmed by their kiss. Dr. Linda wisely surmises he’s stalling because his relationship with Chloe is complicated. He can’t figure out why Chloe would kiss him after he admitted to some of his faults, and Dr. Linda suggests Chloe is taken with him. He thinks maybe it’s because Chloe is sick. And then he has an epiphany – maybe she’s no longer immune to his charms.
The morning after the kiss there’s definitely a little awkwardness going on between our favorite detective and her dreamy Devil sidekick. Lucifer tries his Jedi mind trick on Chloe, but she tells him he knows that doesn’t work on her. (His new theory of Chloe no longer being immune has been quickly shot down.) And then Chloe surprises him by slapping his butt. He looks at her strangely and she concedes that was weird.
They make it to the crime scene where Ella (Aimee Garcia) is examining and photographing the dead body. He’s a college kid who died in his bed from poisoning. When Ella describes the body using the word “discharge,” Lucifer – ever the teenage boy – laughs. Chloe also laughs and Lucifer looks at her like she’s grown an extra head. She flirts with him again, adding a wink and totally confusing Lucifer. Ella says the toxin is bizarre and very aggressive.
Chloe and Lucifer interview the dead guy’s friend and find out the actor Johnny Kane (Mike Doyle) came by the dorm yesterday. He was there researching a role, but Chloe points out he’s way too old to play a college student. Johnny Kane himself then shows up with a wicked-looking knife wanting to know if the kid is dead. Johnny confesses he was threatened that if he didn’t cut his face, a freshman student would die.
At the police station, Johnny shows Chloe and Lucifer the video tape of a masked man telling him to cut his face. If he didn’t, then the student would be poisoned. Johnny thought it was a joke at first, but then he thought maybe it was real. Still, he couldn’t cut up his face, given his livelihood. Lucifer doesn’t blame him, saying the killer is playing god and no one would cut themselves unless they were being manipulated. In another light bulb moment, Lucifer thinks maybe Chloe is being manipulated to show affection. He leaves the interrogation without explaining where he’s off to.
As timing would have it, Charlotte (Tricia Helfer) is at the station and Lucifer demands to know what she did to Chloe to make her kiss him. Charlotte’s all smiles when she hears they kissed, but says she didn’t have anything to do with it. She doesn’t understand why he’s upset, and Lucifer explains that he doesn’t know if it’s real. She tells him to follow his heart. Dan (Kevin Alejandro) interrupts, looks uncomfortable to see Charlotte, Lucifer calls him Douche, and Dan answers by calling Lucifer Dick.
Chloe and Lucifer head to the library to track down the guy behind the emailed video message. Chloe hits on Lucifer again, asking if he ever made out in a library. Of course he has, but what Chloe really wants to know is why he’s avoiding sex with her. He doesn’t have a chance to answer because they hear a woman screaming. What they discover when they investigate is a man watching porn.
Lucifer wants to see what’s in his hands, joking that it could be a gun, while Chloe prefers not to see it and tosses the porn viewer a box of tissues. The guy’s email was used to send the threat to Johnny Kane but he swears he must have been hacked. There’s also another email that he didn’t send to a Dr. Scott. The new email video says she has to destroy her hand or a sophomore at Malibu State named Ashley Corbett will be poisoned. Chloe says they have to find Ashley right now.
Lucifer and Chloe make it to the college and Lucifer tries to make her blend in so she won’t stand out in the frat party they’re about to enter. Chloe takes down her hair and Lucifer says she looks beautiful. They head into the frat party, split up, and look for Ashley. Lucifer starts calling out for Ashley Corbett and is immediately surrounded by lovely college ladies. They say they’ll tell him where Ashley is, but he has to do something first.
Meanwhile, Dan talks to Dr. Scott (April Grace) about the email and she’s sorry she didn’t call the police as soon as she received it. She didn’t know what choice to make and is worried they won’t find Ashley in time.
Back at the party, Lucifer is chugging beer while being cheered on. Chloe’s also being hit on but then sees Lucifer heading upstairs with the sorority girls. Chloe finds him in a bedroom – fully clothed! – still surrounded by the ladies. Chloe’s pissed that she can’t trust him and then she really takes a look around the room and can’t figure out what he’s doing. No one is naked and they seem to just be talking. One of the women asks if Chloe is “her” and says she’s pretty. Lucifer explains he was just waiting for Ashley to come out of the bathroom. They open the door to find Ashley with a bloody nose that won’t stop.
Charlotte pays a visit to Dr. Linda’s to ask for advice about giving Lucifer some info that might send him over the edge when it comes to his father. She wants Dr. Linda to do it for her, but Linda refuses because she’s loyal to her patient. Charlotte says Lucifer needs to know all the information about his future so he can make an informed decision, and she thinks what Dr. Linda’s telling her is to find someone else Lucifer believes and listens to.
Dan breaks the news to Dr. Scott that the antidote isn’t working, but assures her they’ll figure out a way to save Ashley. Dr. Scott excuses herself and then Dan hears the garbage disposal. He can’t stop her as she puts her hand into its razor-sharp teeth and screams.
Chloe and Lucifer rush to Dr. Scott’s and Lucifer’s upset she maimed herself. “There is no winning when you play by a twisted tyrant’s rules,” he says, angrily. Chloe tries to calm him down and Lucifer reminds her you are not supposed to negotiate with terrorists. Chloe tells him his emotions are getting in the way and he needs to get them under control. A man arrives with a delivery and it’s the antidote!
At the station, Ella shows Dan a photo of a John Doe found in a plane’s cargo hold with similar poisoning symptoms. It’s obvious from the hotspots on his body that the poison spilled on him, but it was so strong it killed him anyway. Ella calls it a designer poison which needs a designer antidote. Dan takes a good look at the photo and realizes it’s Andy Kleinburg (Jamie Kennedy) and that he probably stole the box with the poisons that got the stewardess killed when it went missing.
Chloe and Lucifer talk to Ashley at the hospital and she doesn’t recognize the other student who was poisoned. She says she got a flu shot and her arm was sore. Chloe looks at the report and sees the other victim also received a flu shot.
Dan does the research and finds it was Professor Jason Carlyle who gave the flu shots. He shows Chloe and Lucifer a viral video of a car accident Jason was in in which he left someone to die. He grabbed his dissertation instead of helping the Uber driver get out of the car before it went up in flames. Jason’s life was ruined by the video and Lucifer points out the killer is trying to make the point that everyone would make the same choice he did. Chloe adds that he’s recreated his own moral dilemma.
Lucifer thinks if they threaten Jason’s ego, they can draw him out. Chloe sends him an email insulting him, telling him even his mask is lame. Dan doesn’t want her to send it but she does. He immediately emails her back with a link to a live video chat. He wants to finish his experiment and claims he’s not selfish. He also has two new victims, showing the detectives a track star with his leg in a trap and a college student hooked up to a poison IV drip. If the track star severs his leg, then the college student will get the antidote. And, he confirms that the antidotes are all unique.
Oh no, this can’t be good… Charlotte meets up with Maze and tells her she needs to deliver news about Chloe to Lucifer. Maze tells Charlotte to deliver the bad news herself, and as Maze is walking away Charlotte says, “God made Chloe.” Maze is fine with that, but then Charlotte adds that God put Chloe in Lucifer’s path, calling her a miracle. Maze just laughs and then Charlotte briefly explains that Amenadiel blessed Chloe’s “lady parts” and asks if she’s ever wondered why Chloe is so special to Lucifer. Charlotte has something to show her to prove her case.
Chloe, Dan, and Lucifer are trying to figure out where the victims are being held when Ella says she’s found something. She determined Andy was strangled as well as poisoned and has video of Professor Carlyle at the airport which isn’t that helpful. But then Chloe asks to see what’s in the tray at security and it’s an ID tag from Malibu’s rival, Pasadena University.
The door to Carlyle’s lab is locked but they talk through the glass, and Professor Carlyle says they get to see the final moments of his test. Chloe fires but it’s bulletproof, and the Carlyle offers her a choice. She can be killed by poisonous gas but have the antidote to save Benji’s life or she lets him die and doesn’t entire the room. Carlyle shatters the gas vile after putting on his gas mask. Chloe quickly makes up her mind to save the kid, but Lucifer stops her. He says he can save the boy without harming himself and asks if she trusts him. She does, and he sends her out after the professor who’s run off.
Chloe chases the professor down outside as inside Lucifer cuts his own wrist. Chloe tackles Carlyle but he gets away while inside Lucifer slices himself again and then yells at Chloe (who is outside, out of earshot) to get further away. He can’t go in until he knows he can’t be harmed, which means Chloe can’t be in his vicinity. His third cut doesn’t actually break the skin so he knows he’s okay to enter the room with the poisonous gas. He uses his super strength to open the door, sucks in the gas, nothing happens, and then helps the Benji.
Carlyle holds up a knife trying to get Chloe to understand he’s not a monster and that choice is an illusion. He slits his own throat and falls at Chloe’s feet.
Chloe races back to the lab and sees the track star and Benji outside on a bench, unharmed. Lucifer’s also unharmed and she gives him a big hug. He hugs her back and she tells him they make a good team. He asks if this is real and she shakes her head yes. They hug even tighter!
Lucifer heads to a bar (not his) to meet Maze and is confused to see her sitting with his mom. Maze looks sad and Charlotte says they have something to tell him. Lucifer’s still on an emotional high and tells Maze and Charlotte that he and Chloe are real. He admits he didn’t think it could happen but it did, and he feels invincible. Maze stops Charlotte before she can tell him the secret and they’re heading out of the bar when Charlotte makes Maze turn around. Maze refuses to have anything to do with it but Charlotte says they’re doing it for him.
As they argue, Lucifer sees a photo on the wall of Amenadiel with Chloe’s mom. He’s confused and Maze once again tries to stop Charlotte before she reveals the truth. It doesn’t work and Charlotte bursts Lucifer’s happiness bubble by revealing God put Chloe in Lucifer’s path. Lucifer is incredulous and then memories of all their times together flash through his head. “So, none of it was real?” he asks, extremely emotional. He rushes out of the bar and over to Chloe’s, yelling that he needs to talk to her. He runs upstairs and sees her in the bathroom. He continues to yell at her, asking if she knew. As she turns toward him, her nose is bleeding and she says something is wrong. Damn, that was heartbreaking episode!