Old School Movie Quotes

Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn in Old School
Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn in 'Old School' - © DreamWorks Pictures
The R-rated comedy Old School was written and directed by Todd Phillips and stars Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson, Ellen Pompeo and Jeremy Piven. Vaughn, Ferrell and Wilson play three guys who started their own fraternity despite the fact none were actually enrolled in college. Released on February 21, 2003, the comedy was loaded with funny lines – and Will Ferrell streaking. Here’s a few of the best lines but be warned, the film’s rated R for language and that means the following quotes are not fit for the workplace:
 
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you man. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through.”

 
Mitch Martin/Luke Wilson: “True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend… “

 
Frank Ricard/Frank the Tank/Will Ferrell: ”You know I was thinking we could go back home… have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD… no? Weren’t thinking that? Ok.”

 
Mitch Martin/Luke Wilson: “I’ve had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.”
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say ‘earmuffs’ to him, and you can say “F–k, shit, bitch.”
Frank Ricard/Frank the Tank/Will Ferrell: “Cock. Balls.”
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “I’m just trying to make a point, Frank. You don’t have to celebrate it.”
 
Barry/Andy Dick: “He left me with a little something called herpes. Which I then gave to the dog. But that’s neither here nor there.”

 
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “Don’t beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It’s not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That’s what old people do. They die.”

 
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it’s going to be sick. I’m talking like crazy boy band ass.”

 
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hang out with nineteen year old girl’s everyday?”

 
Barry/Andy Dick: “Ok, ladies the secret to a good BJ is focus. I don’t care if we’re talking about your husband of ten years or some hot sailor you met a TGI Fridays.”
 
Frank Ricard/Frank the Tank/Will Ferrell: “You tell anyone about this and I’ll f–king kill you. I’m kidding, I’m kidding, we’ll have him home by tonight. Okay, sweetie.”
 
Frank Ricard/Frank the Tank/Will Ferrell: “You’re my boy, Blue! You’re my boy.”
 
Blue/Patrick Cranshaw: “Just ring the f–king bell, you pansy.”
 
Mitch Martin/Luke Wilson: “At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?”
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “And the answer ladies…is trust.”
 
Beanie/Bernard Campbell/Vince Vaughn: “Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he’s crushing ass every Thursday night at our mixers.”