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‘Killer Elite’ Preview – Trailer, Plot, and Cast List

Jason Statham and Clive Owen in Killer Elite
Jason Statham and Clive Owen in Killer Elite - © Open Road Films

Jason Statham and Clive Owen lead the cast of the R-rated action thriller Killer Elite. Directed by Gary McKendry and based on the book The Feather Men by Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Killer Elite opens in theaters on September 23, 2011.

Clive Owen stars as Spike, Jason Statham plays Danny, Yvonne Strahovski is Anne, Robert De Niro is Hunter, and Aden Young is Meier. Ben Mendelsohn plays Martin, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is Agent, David Whiteley is MI6 Man, Matt Nable is Pennock, and Lachy Hulme is Harris.

The Plot: Based on a true story, Killer Elite races across the globe from Australia to Paris, London, and the Middle East in the action-packed account of an ex-special ops agent (Jason Statham) who is lured out of retirement to rescue his mentor (Robert De Niro). To make the rescue, he must complete a near-impossible mission of killing three tough-as-nails assassins with a cunning leader (Clive Owen).

‘Fright Night’ – Colin Farrell Interview

Anton Yelchin and Colin Farrell in Fright Night
Anton Yelchin and Colin Farrell in 'Fright Night' - © DreamWorks Pictures

Colin Farrell stars as a vampire named Jerry in the 2011 version of Fright Night from DreamWorks Pictures, a character originated by Chris Sarandon in the 1985 horror film. And while their characters share a lot of the same traits, this remake has a totally different tone than the first film. Farrell’s Jerry isn’t interested in romancing anyone; he’s bored, he’s dangerous, and he kills anyone he feels like killing.

In this interview clip provided by DreamWorks Pictures, Farrell talks about why he decided to star in the remake, the film’s tone, the emotional disconnect Jerry feels, and how his character just enjoys terrifying people:

Fright Night opens in theaters on August 19, 2011.

The Plot: Senior Charlie Brewster (Anton Yelchin) finally has it all going on: he’s running with the popular crowd and dating the most coveted girl in his high school. In fact, he’s so cool he’s even dissing his best friend. But trouble arrives when Jerry (Colin Farrell) moves in next door. He seems like a great guy at first, but there’s something not quite right—but everyone, including Charlie’s mom (Toni Collette), doesn’t notice. After observing some very strange activity, Charlie comes to an unmistakable conclusion: Jerry is a vampire preying on the neighborhood. Unable to convince anyone, Charlie has to find a way to get rid of the monster himself in this Craig Gillespie-helmed revamp of the comedy-horror classic evil.

Dance Your Way to the Footloose Premiere

Footloose ContestParamount Pictures is running a contest in support of the 2011 version of Footloose starring Kenny Wormald in the Kevin Bacon role. The dance film will hit theaters on October 14th, and now the studio’s offering up a shot at winning a trip to the movie’s premiere. Paramount says all interested dance fans should create a video showing off their moves with the grand prize winner receiving a round-trip for 2 to the Footloose premiere, hotel accommodations, and tickets to the premiere.

The contest is running through Friday, September 16, 2011 at 11:59pm PT and you have to be 13 or older to enter. Check out all the official details here: Show Us How You Cut Loose Contest

Review: ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ is a Solid Franchise Revamp

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
A scene from ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ (Photo © WETA, 20th Century Fox)

I am engaged in a love/hate relationship with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the 2011 prequel to all the other Planet of the Apes films. When Rise of the Planet of the Apes gets things right, which it does very often, it’s surprisingly heart-wrenching. But when it gets things wrong, it yanks the viewer right out of the film. Fortunately, the scale tips more in favor of things done right, and so this Apes succeeds where Tim Burton’s failed.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes should give rise to a whole new string of Planet of the Apes films. With CG advancements and performance capture technology now able to allow filmmakers to create realistic chimpanzees, orangutans, and gorillas, the ability to bring the story of a planet ruled by apes to life is now fully within the grasp of talented special effects artists and directors. Nearly 40 years have passed since the fifth – and last – of the first string of Planet of the Apes movies, Battle for the Planet of the Apes, hit theaters, and those films absolutely do not – unlike other movies Hollywood insists on remaking – stand the test of time.

Still, when studios announced Rise of the Planet of the Apes, moviegoers who have been burned far too often by studios simply out to cash in on a brand name did not greet it with cheers. Even the fact the apes would not be actors in ape suits and make-up – or only CG creations – but instead would be created using actors in performance capture suits did not immediately ease concerns over the prospect of a new Apes film. However, while Rise of the Planet of the Apes has its problems, the performance of Andy Serkis as the chimpanzee named Caesar who leads his fellow apes in a revolt against their oppressors, is not one of them.

Serkis’ performance as Caesar should put an end to any and all debates over the validity of the technology and the worthiness of actors in performance capture suits of earning recognition for their hard work. Serkis knows performance capture in a way no other actor does, and director Rupert Wyatt’s decision to cast him as the main ape – a decision that was likely a no-brainer – was pivotal in making Rise of the Planet of the Apes rise above being simply a summer action blockbuster and into, at times, an endearing and emotionally moving film. Caesar is the most sympathetic and fully realized character of the film, and that’s due to Serkis’ amazing performance.

Freida Pinto and James Franco in Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Freida Pinto and James Franco in ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ (Photo Credit: WETA – TM and © 2011 20th Century Fox Film Corporation)

In a nutshell, the story follows Oscar nominee James Franco (127 Hours) as a decent, dedicated San Francisco-based genetic scientist named Will Rodman. His father (John Lithgow) suffers from Alzheimer’s, and Will’s research is focused on finding a cure for that debilitating disease. After five years, Will thinks he has created a revolutionary drug that can restore cognitive function in Alzheimer’s patients by repairing brain tissue.

Testing the drug out involves the use of chimps, and when one displays significant intellectual improvements, the company believes Will has created a miracle drug. However, when the chimp – nicknamed Bright Eyes due to the new green streaks that appear in her irises after the drug’s injected – is in the process of being prepared to be introduced to the company’s financial backers, she goes…well…ape. She lashes out at whoever gets in her way, breaking through glass, until ultimately a security guard is forced to shoot her.

Will’s boss calls for the immediate cessation of the experiments and for all the remaining chimps to be euthanized. While going about that heartbreaking task, the animal’s chief handler at the drug company, Robert (Tyler Labine), discovers Bright Eyes was not acting out of rage but was simply protecting her new baby that she’d hidden under a bench in her cage. Robert’s had enough of putting chimps to sleep and leaves the baby in Will’s care to either euthanize or take home.

Will takes Caesar home, initially believing this is a temporary situation. But as he and his father bond with the baby chimp, Caesar shows signs of extraordinary intelligence. And he has those same green streaks in his eyes as did his now-deceased mother. In the years that follow, Will teaches Caesar how to communicate through sign language, and with each passing year, Caesar’s level of intelligence dramatically increases.

However, after a disturbing episode involving one of Will’s neighbors, Caesar’s forced out of the only home he’s ever known and into an ape sanctuary run by cruel humans (Brian Cox and Tom Felton). The apes in the sanctuary recognize his differences and mistreat him because of them. But Caesar’s not down for the count for long. He uses his astonishing brainpower to devise a plan to unite his fellow apes in a revolt against their human captors.

The Bottom Line:

The filmmakers needed to fill in a few plot holes in order for Rise of the Planet of the Apes to be truly impressive. The movie starts storylines but fails to carry them through, and leaves some crucial questions unanswered. Why didn’t the researchers and scientists know Caesar’s mother, Bright Eyes, was pregnant? Wouldn’t they have discovered that in one of the tests they ran to get a baseline on the chimpanzee? Why does the executive in charge of the research facility flip-flop on his decision to continue experimentation on chimps after so vehemently arguing against the possibility of Rodman’s drug being a viable asset to the company?

Additionally, there’s enough of a hint of a relationship between Caesar and the female chimpanzee, Cornelia, to suggest that a storyline was chopped out. Because that hint is there, it feels like an incomplete storyline left to dangle. Also, there are completely superfluous characters wedged into the plot, including James Franco’s onscreen love interest, Freida Pinto. Pinto’s fine, but there’s no need for the character other than to throw a little romance into the mix.

However, those grievances are minor compared to where I believe Rise of the Planet of the Apes lets us down the most. The close-ups and one-on-ones with the film’s apes are outstanding and it’s possible to forget you are watching anything other than a real live chimpanzee perform in this film; that’s how seamless and authentic the effects look. But when the apes are further away or moving in a pack, the effects aren’t quite as good as you’d want/expect them to be. In those scenes, the fact these are not apes but CG creations creeps in and sort of jerks you out of the film. Which is really quite a shame given just how brilliantly Serkis’ performance works as Caesar and how perfect the apes look when viewed in tighter shots.

When I’ve spoken to people about Rise of the Planet of the Apes who have not seen the film, universally they have expressed their low expectations for the quality of the movie and the story it is telling. Even the trailers, which have been relatively entertaining, haven’t fully conveyed what Rise of the Planet of the Apes is all about. They’ve emphasized the action and the apes revolting, but Rise of the Planets of the Apes is truly a character-driven film. More time is devoted to allowing the audience to understand and bond with Caesar than it is in showing apes fighting against men. 20th Century Fox may find that selling the film via trailers and clips as an action piece is the best way to pull in summer audiences, but they miss the boat by not distinguishing this film from the pack of summer action movies. The story, which as I pointed out above does have a few shortcomings, takes its time to build, something most big-budget summer releases fail to do.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes isn’t one of the best action films of the year because of the sketchy long-distance shots of the apes. But it is a bold, fresh take on a franchise that actually benefits from having a face-lift done on it 40+ years after audiences first explored its make-believe world. Rise is a cautionary tale that’s fed to us without any dilution. We know the moral of the story writers Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver set out to tell, and they don’t sugarcoat that message to make it go down any easier (a very smart move on their part). Audiences might not go bananas over the film, but it’s a solid revamp of a classic franchise.

GRADE: B-

Rise of the Planet of the Apes was directed by Rupert Wyatt and is rated PG-13 for intense and frightening sequences of action and violence.

Theatrical Release: August 5, 2011

Jay-Z and Kanye West Release Watch the Throne Tour Schedule

Watch the Throne
Watch the Throne -© Live Nation Entertainment

Jay-Z and Kanye West have released the dates and venues for their upcoming 2011 North American >Watch the Throne tour. They’ll be kicking things off in Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, October 29th with tickets for the tour going on sale to the public on Monday, August 8th at Ticketmaster.com and LiveNation.com.

The Watch the Throne album will also be available beginning August 8th on iTunes and in stores on August 12th.

Per the press release: “Both Jay-Z and Kanye West have each appeared as guests on the other’s stage, and now they come together for never-before-seen performances not only from their collaboration, Watch the Throne but also songs from their classic catalogue.”

Watch the Throne Tour

10/29/11 Atlanta, GA Philips Arena
10/30/11 Greensboro, NC Greensboro Coliseum
11/1/11 Baltimore, MD 1st Mariner Arena
11/2/11 Philadelphia, PA Wells Fargo Center
11/3/11 Washington, DC Verizon Center
11/5/11 East Rutherford, NJ Izod Center
11/6/11 East Rutherford, NJ Izod Center
11/14/11 Ft. Lauderdale, FL BankAtlantic Center
11/21/11 Boston, MA TD Garden
11/22/11 Montreal, QC Bell Centre
11/23/11 Toronto, ON Air Canada Centre
Palace of Auburn
11/26/11 Detroit, MI Hills
Consol Energy
11/27/11 Pittsburgh, PA Center
11/29/11 Kansas City, MO Sprint Center
12/1/11 Chicago, IL United Center
12/3/11 New Orleans, LA New Orleans Arena
12/5/11 Houston, TX Toyota Center
American Airlines
12/6/11 Dallas, TX Arena
MGM Grand Garden
12/9/11 Las Vegas, NV Arena
12/10/11 San Jose, CA HP Pavilion
12/12/11 Los Angeles, CA STAPLES Center
12/16/11 Tacoma, WA Tacoma Dome
12/18/11 Vancouver, BC Rogers Arena




‘The Devil’s Double’ – Dominic Cooper Interview

Dominic Cooper in The Devil's Double
Dominic Cooper in 'The Devil's Double' - ©Lionsgate Films

Dominic Cooper (Captain America) delivers a career-defining performance in the dramatic film The Devil’s Double, directed by Lee Tamahori (Next) and co-starring Ludivine Sagnier. Based on true events and set in Baghdad in 1987, The Devil’s Double finds Cooper playing multiple roles in this story of Saddam Hussein’s brutal son, Uday (nicknamed the ‘Black Prince’), and the Iraqi army lieutenant, Latif Yahia, who was held captive and forced to be his body double.

Sitting down with Cooper at the 2011 Comic-Con in San Diego, the 33-year-old British actor talked about playing multiple roles, the logistics of transforming from Latif to Uday, and the film’s violence.

Dominic Cooper The Devil’s Double Interview

Did you go into this project knowing you were going to have to tackle three different personalities?

Dominic Cooper: “No, that kind of occurred to me while we were doing it, actually. I really enjoyed that aspect of it. I was mesmerized by that aspect of the story, how this normal guy was just thrown into this world and had to be a good actor, spontaneously, had to try and act being someone who he was utterly horrified by.

I hadn’t thought enough about that, and then as those scenes came up where he was transforming, I spontaneously established who he was, the character I created and developed, knowing what I knew of Latif and knowing where I wanted to go with this person – it happened instantaneously. I didn’t think too much about it, because of the nature in which it was filmed and the speed with which it was filmed, and the lack of budget and time.”

Sometimes people think I played out Uday first, and then a week later I played [Latif]. It wasn’t. It was a case of literally doing an establishing shot of the scene, and then constantly running, doing the teeth, changing the hair, getting into costume, and then running back in, trying desperately to remember how I did the scene an hour or whatever it was ago. And I’d ask, often, to play Uday first, because he was so much the driving force within the scene itself.

What was terrifying was that Lee [Tamahori, the director] was having to make spontaneous decisions about which take to use, because we’d have to use that take and I’d have to remember that particular one, how I sounded, how I did the performance, and then have an earpiece to hide, and then guessing where I was. Which was often quite haphazard, because I was allowed to improvise and go off the page with him. Therefore it was a kind of chaos.

I remember Lee running around, sticking things on various walls, going, ‘You were there, and then you were looking over there.’ But that had to be so accurate because if that was any way out if you saw on the film and he was looking in the wrong place for a reaction, it just wouldn’t work. None of it would work.”

Was it as exhausting as it sounds to do all that? And did you ever forget what you were supposed to do?

Dominic Cooper: “It was exhausting. I never forgot and I was so exhilarated by it, and by performing those two very different guys. It was nonstop, but I was inspired to do it. I loved the energy, I loved the input that I was allowed to have, which rarely happens on a film set. The creative input, I felt so much apart of the crew, I felt part of everything, the decision-making. Yes, I was exhausted, but I liked it like no other job that I’d done before.

The beauty of that was not having time to contemplate or regret or think too much about if you’d done the right thing or if the performance was going the right way. I’d had time enough…Lee had allowed time to really establish who these guys were and our artistic license within it. Yes, I met Latif, yes, there was a certain amount I could find out about Uday and get to know him, but my fear was that these two guys had to be very, very different from the audience’s perspective.

It was essential that you knew who you were watching at every moment, for me. That was my biggest fear. So, therefore, to divide them, they’re not necessarily like that. Uday didn’t necessarily speak with that ridiculous high-pitched voice. But they were all techniques to make sure that we knew who we were watching. Physically changing each of them, hopefully, and very differently, and then vocally changing them. I loved all that stuff.”

Were you amazed at how seamless the final product turned out?

Dominic Cooper: “I was quite, actually, yeah, from seeing the chaos I experienced on set. But I always had faith in the team who was doing it, and Lee. He was completely inspiring to be around and to watch, his energy levels.”

How do you feel about the shocking violence in the movie? How do you prepare for something like that?

Dominic Cooper: “Another one of the challenges was the fact that I could find no remorse or sympathy for this hideous monster. I despised him, and actually, you have to see the humanity of the person you’re portraying, whose eyes you’re looking through in some respects. So the violence, the more I read and the more I saw, I didn’t know where to go.

I couldn’t understand it in any capacity whatsoever. So I had to look into his psyche, why the man behaved the way he did, in terms of Uday and what he did. You just look at his childhood, I suppose, and the fact that he was exposed to scenes of torture when he was four. His father made him watch stuff like that. His deep love of his mother, I suppose. These are the aspects of him that I had to cling on to to understand if there was something good in him, somewhere. But those things happened, the torture happened.

We toned down the torture; we toned down the things he did. You’re right, you step back from somebody and think, ‘We’re making a film,’ and then Latif turns up and you go, ‘This was real. This all happened. This really affected people in the most horrific way. This man destroyed people’s lives with no care and no remorse.’ But you needed to see it. You need to know it. Otherwise, it’s romanticized and the situation isn’t as powerful.

You have to understand the threat. You have to understand the situation in which that man is in and why he can’t get out of it. They’re not mucking around. You’re in that situation for real and you cannot get out of it. They will kill your entire family without a second thought. But it was never meant to be an accurate, descriptive, political, or historical reference to that time. It’s what Lee is great at, from his first film. If anyone is going to make a film about a gangster-run state and country, then it’s him. He understands how those people work, and the psychology behind those people. The violence was important.”

Uday didn’t consider himself to be a monster. He was able to justify everything he did. Can you talk about what went into that for you?

Dominic Cooper: “Yeah, and that’s what so disturbing about him. What’s intriguing about it is that it was a gangster-run country, but it was one with no limitations set upon it. Gangsters have a point where they’re going to be prohibited from doing what they’re doing, or be told to calm down or to stop. There was nothing. He killed his father’s best friend, he was sent to Geneva, he killed an American tourist in the space of hours, lost millions at the roulette table, and killed someone as a result. Nothing happened to him. He was sent back home. He could do anything he pleased. He had as much money to spend as he wanted, took as many drugs, had as many women.

There was nothing to prohibit him from doing what he wanted. Which begs the question, are you born like that? Was he always like that? Did he have that inside of him? Probably not. It’s how he was allowed to behave. There were stories going into school, bringing girls into school, and teachers saying, ‘I don’t think that’s possible. You shouldn’t do that.’ And then the teacher was gone. They never turned up again.”

Which were you on first, Devil’s Double or Captain America?

Dominic Cooper: “I did Devil’s Double first.”

So how do you go from one extreme to the other, between Latif and Uday and a playboy eccentric billionaire?

Dominic Cooper: “They’re all challenges in totally different ways. I actually, in a way, found Captain America more difficult, strangely, because those parts, where you go in and you do a day here and there on a huge set where you may not have worked for three weeks, you don’t know the crew, you don’t really know who you are within the framework of that particular job, because it’s so enormous. You have to really cling onto what you’ve developed because there’s only that much of that character within that script. So you’re clinging onto who this person is, with a desperate hope that you’re getting it right.

When you’re completely immersed in a character like Uday and Latif, you’re firing on all cylinders and you’re there the whole time. It’s within you and you click from one moment to the next, and you go into that person. When you’re sitting around for a day and then you’re called to do you’re line, you wonder, ‘Was that any good?’ You have no idea.

So, truly, answering that question, it’s more difficult, for me. I find maybe it’s because I prefer rising to a challenge. I’m much more invigorated by maybe getting it wrong, by not really knowing what I’m doing or where I’m going with something. It’s more enjoyable for me.”

You’ve talked about the transitions from Uday to Latif in terms of physicality, but going from one extreme to the other must be an enormous emotional transition, as well.

Dominic Cooper: “You just need a minute. I just needed to focus and re-adjust. All those things helped tremendously. They were basic principles; they were really obvious in a way. I changed the physical language of him, I changed the vocal language. I had the teeth, which changed the shape of my face which allowed me to get in the mindset in some way. I can’t even really explain that.

I often heard actors, when I was younger, saying, ‘Yes, when I put on the shoes…’ and I thought, ‘What a load of crap.’ But actually it’s totally true. The moment those [fake teeth] went in, I suddenly just took on a different persona. So then I just needed to adjust. It’s like having a split personality, which I have anyways. It was exhausting, but at the same time great.

What was difficult was to do Latif when he was furious, when he got angry, because you felt yourself wanting to slip back in. But you had to just really, really make an effort to remember how a different person operates. How totally different we all are. How we respond and listen and react, and all those things are so different amongst each and every one of us as individuals. You just have to not allow yourself to seep too much into the performance, and try, kind of, to be really clear.”

How were you able to switch off when you’d get home?

Dominic Cooper: “I had my brother there with me and it was great to hang out with him. It was one of those wonderful experiences where we’d all either play soccer or went go-karting every day. Literally. We were so exhausted, but it was so good to just go do something completely opposing what we’d done during the day. I shouldn’t have been go-karting, the film and the producers wouldn’t have been very happy to know that, but it was nice to just get it out and do something different.”

* * * * * *

The Devil’s Double hits theaters on July 29, 2011.




TNT Renews ‘Rizzoli & Isles’ for a 3rd Season

Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon in Rizzoli and Isles
Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon in 'Rizzoli and Isles' - Photo Credit: Doug Hyun/TNT

TNT announced they’re bringing back Rizzoli & Isles for a third season which they’ve set to air during the summer of 2012. The network’s ordered a 15-episode third season of the show starring Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander which currently airs on Monday nights at 10pm ET/PT.

The Closer and Rizzoli & Isles are basic cable’s top two series, according to TNT, with Rizzoli & Isles attracting 8.6 million viewers. Bestselling crime novelist Tess Gerritsen created the characters the show is based on.

“This summer, Rizzoli & Isles has proven that last year’s record-breaking ratings were just the beginning of this show’s remarkable track record,” stated Michael Wright, executive vice president and head of programming for TNT, TBS and Turner Classic Movies (TCM). “With a terrific cast, a top-notch production team, and the kind of stories TNT fans crave, Rizzoli & Isles is poised to continue its success alongside blockbuster TNT series like The Closer and Falling Skies.”

The Story: Rizzoli & Isles stars Angie Harmon as Jane Rizzoli, a tough-as-nails Boston police detective, and Sasha Alexander as Maura Isles, a smart, impeccably dressed medical examiner from a privileged background. Despite being complete opposites, the two women share an offbeat chemistry and strong working relationship that has helped them bust some of Boston’s most notorious criminals.

‘Justin Bieber: Never Say Never’ Director’s Cut Details

Justin Bieber Never Say Never
‘Justin Bieber Never Say Never’ Director’s Fan Cut (Photo © Paramount Home Entertainment)

Because Bieber lovers can never get enough of the singer/actor, Paramount Pictures is putting out a special Justin Bieber: Never Say Never Director’s Fan Cut DVD with an hour of never-before-seen footage. The special edition 2-disc DVD will be available at Target on August 23, 2011 and includes a purple keepsake box with a limited edition Never Say Never necklace.

Director Jon M Chu, who’s set to tackle the sequel to G.I. Joe next – because working with Bieber is a natural lead-in to a big action tentpole film, right? – has created an extended version of the film that includes 34 minutes of footage that didn’t make it into the theatrical cut. According to Paramount Home Entertainment, the special 2-disc DVD’s bonus features include “more of Justin’s friends and hometown life, new songs, more performances of ‘Baby’ and fan reactions from the initial theatrical showings.”

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never was released in theaters on February 11, 2011 and made $29.5 million in the US over its opening weekend. It went on to bring in $97 million worldwide before exiting theaters.

‘Step Brothers’ Movie Quotes – The Film’s Most Memorable Lines

Will Ferrell, Mary Steenburgen, Richard Jenkins and John C Reilly in Step Brothers
Will Ferrell, Mary Steenburgen, Richard Jenkins and John C Reilly in ‘Step Brothers’ (Photo © Columbia Pictures

Will Ferrell and John C Reilly had such a good time co-starring in 2006’s Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby that they got back together for 2008’s Step Brothers. In their second comedy movie, Ferrell and Reilly play adults forced to actually grow up after their single parents marry and they become step brothers. And while Talladega Nights was rated PG-13, the guys went full-on R with Step Brothers, so these quotes are definitely not safe for the workplace.

The Step Brothers Cast:

    ‘Dale Doback ‘ – John C. Reilly
    ‘Brennan Huff’ – Will Ferrell
    ‘Derek’ – Adam Scott
    ‘Nancy Huff’ – Mary Steenburgen
    ‘Alice’ – Kathryn Hahn
    ‘Dr. Robert Doback’ – Richard Jenkins
    ‘Randy’ – Rob Riggle

Step Brothers Quotes:

Dale Doback: “My dad and I decided that Nancy’s kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.”
Brennan Huff: “Who’s the retard?”
Dale Doback: “You.”

Dale Doback: “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”
Brennan Huff: “You’re not a doctor… you’re a big, fat, curly-headed f–k!”

Brennan Huff: “I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the sh-t out of you!”

Brennan Huff: “I’m going upstairs because I’m going to put my nutsack on your drum set!”

Brennan Huff: “I tea-bagged your f–king drum set!”

Nancy Huff: “You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.”
Brennan Huff: “Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, ‘Lets get it on.'”
Dale Doback: “That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper!”
Brennan Huff: “Look, I didn’t touch your drum set, okay?”
Dale Doback: “I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.”

Brennan Huff: “This house is a f–king prison!”
Dale Doback: “On Planet Bullshit!”
Brennan Huff: “In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!”

Brennan Huff: “You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.”
Dale Doback: “Yeah, I got ’em from the 70s, 80s and 90s. It’s like masturbating in a time machine.”

Brennan Huff: “Hey Derek, do you know what’s good for shoulder pain?
Derek: “What?”
Brennan Huff: “If you lick my butt hole.”

Alice: “I’m going to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. It’s cozy.”

Dale Doback: “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.”
Dale and Brennan: “Velociraptor.”
Brennan Huff: “Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to?”
Dale and Brennan: “Good Housekeeping.”
Brennan Huff: “If you were a chick, who’s the one guy you’d sleep with?”
Dale and Brennan: “John Stamos.”
Dale Doback: “What?”
Brennan Huff:”Did we just become best friends?”
Dale Doback: “Yup.”
Brennan Huff: “Do you wanna do karate in the garage?”
Dale Doback: “Yup!”

Dale Doback: “Okay, here’s the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f–k one, marry one, kill one, go!”

Dale Doback: “Is my dad upset about the stuff that happened?”
Nancy Huff: “Robert was very upset, yes. He knows that you interviewed as a team. And he heard about the fart.”
Brennan Huff: “Oh, he did?”
Nancy Huff: “Yeah. You just couldn’t hold it, or you…?”
Dale Doback: “No. I thought it was gonna be silent.”
Brennan Huff: “It was not silent.”
Dale Doback: “It just kept going, and it made a sound. It was embarrassing.”
Brennan Huff: “It got louder. It got louder.”

Brennan Huff: “I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?”

Brennan Huff: “Robert better not get in my face because I’ll drop that motherf–ker!”

Brennan Huff: “Hey Derek. Sprechen sie dick.”

Robert Doback: “You jagaloons! You’re failures! FAILURES!”
Brennan Huff: “Hey, you’re embarrassing yourself, you geriatric f–k!”
Nancy Huff: “Brennan.”
Brennan Huff: “Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She’s a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000.”
Nancy Huff: “Oh, stop it! Stop it right…”
Brennan Huff: “Or I’m gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your ass…”
Nancy Huff: “Brennan!”
Brennan Huff: “…you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces shit!”

Robert Doback: “You know what I got for Christmas? A crushed soul!”

Derek: “I have to sell or lease at last 80 helicopters to make my nut. And you… You mess with my nut, Brennan, Randy here is gonna eat your dick.”
Randy: “Like Kobayashi.”
Derek: “I’ve seen him do it.”
Brennan Huff: “You’ve actually seen him eating a man’s penis?”
Derek: “It was in international waters, so they couldn’t prosecute him. But I saw it.”

Randy: “I don’t know what it is about your face, but I just want to deliver one of these right in your suck hole.” (holding up his fist).

Robert: “Rock the f–k out of those drums, Dale!”

Derek: “What do we do now?”
Brennan Huff: “We could hug.”
Derek: “Yeah, you’d like that, you faggot! I’m sorry, I’m new to this.”

Brennan Huff: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!”




‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ Review

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Photo Credit: WETA – TM and © 2011 20th Century Fox

There appears to be a misprint in the title Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It doesn’t blatantly add the word franchise.

Everything about the film is a tease for future installments and director Rupert Wyatt has said as much in interviews, stating he sees the next film as an all-out war between apes and humans – likening this to how Batman Begins rebooted that franchise. Although I’d like to think the true goal of this restart is to wash the bad taste Tim Burton’s version left in our mouths when he thought it was a good idea to have Marky Mark be our ambassador of suck.

In any case, Wyatt’s tale is heavily reliant on CGI and motion capture to bring the apes to life; and the smartest thing the filmmakers did was hire Andy Serkis on to portray the protagonist, Caesar. He not only provided wonderful movement and an actual human for the other actors to play off of, but delivers the best performance of the film by a mile.

And just like Burton’s bungling, the stars of this film are the apes. There’s not a single real one in the film but the special effects team and motion capture crew found a way to bring them to life. They did so beautifully for the most part (large group CGI still feels a bit like playing a video game) and scenes involving the apes are what make this film work to the degree that it does.

Working against the quality of the apes is the quality of the humans. Every single one of them, from James Franco to John Lithgow to Freida Pinto, and on down, felt like a plot device with a name tag. Much of the problem lies in a script doing its best to pay homage to earlier Apes‘ films as well as kick-start a new franchise, but no one seemed to be working all that hard to fix that either.

It’s really unclear why Pinto was involved at all, except to fill in the blank line in the screenwriting program labeled “love interest.”

Lithgow gives a decent enough performance, but again, his character is a plot device to get Franco so intent on finding a cure for Alzheimer’s that he inadvertently creates a super race of apes (thanks, jerk).

And the bottom line to things is that the majority of the enjoyment to be found was in laughing at elements that don’t seem to be meant as quite so hysterical. Whether it’s watching Draco Malfoy Tom Felton be granted the sacred Charlton Heston line about apes’ cleanliness and what they should do with their hands or in seeing a corporate tool get his comeuppance, the reaction is to mock the film rather than find it charming or satisfying.

Again, I compliment the film on its handling of the apes. Having just watched the spectacular documentary Project Nim, it was gratifying to see that many key elements of chimp/ape behavior were done fairly well. It would have been nice for the film to get to the point a bit quicker, as the middle section drags somewhat, but the ridiculous end scenes re-grew that smile on my face as I began to laugh at the film once again. Not only were there multiple similarities to Outbreak (with Tyler Labine playing the Patrick Dempsey role), I even made some connections to Deep Blue Sea … probably not what the filmmakers want, but at least it kept me from becoming too uncomfortable in my seat.

Trying to reboot a franchise inherently built upon a cheesy premise is tricky, and that kitsch factor is still lying underneath all of the excellent effects used for the apes. If one simply wants a spectacle film and loves the monkey exhibit at the zoo, checking out Rise of the Planet of the Apes makes some sense. However, if the trailer doesn’t entice you into buying a ticket, there will be no amount of persuading on my end to change your mind.

GRADE: C+

Rise of the Planet of the Apes hits theaters on August 5, 2011 and is rated PG-13 for violence, terror, some sexuality and brief strong language.




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