A murder investigation is underway as Fox’s Scream Queens season two episode two titled ‘Warts and All’ opens. The detective in charge is skeptical of Chanel #5’s claim that a large green plant murdered the Wolf Girl, and all that’s left behind is Wolf Girl’s head and one very confused Chanel. To make matters worse, the detective actually seems to believe Chanel – who was locked in a bathtub – is a suspect. Dr. Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) butts in to ask if you have to have graduated high school to be a detective (the answer is no) as Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin) continues to scream about a giant Wolf Girl-beheading plant.
Poor Chanel #5…not even her fellow Chanels believe her story. Chanel #1 (Emma Roberts) and Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) circle her like she’s prey, carrying on about their doctor dates and Chanel #5’s lack of nooky. The detective decides there’s no way to solve the case and leaves, but not before warning Chanel #5 to stop making up stories that just aren’t that scary.
And now we’re introduced to the new case of the week: a man with bubbly skin. The team – Chanels 1, 3, and 5, Zayday (Keke Palmer), Dr. Cascade (Taylor Lautner), and Dr. Holt (John Stamos) – debate the course of action. Chanel #1 wants to pop the tumors but Dr. Holt says there’s a laser treatment. Unfortunately, the hospital doesn’t have the right machine. Bubble Man (Colton Haynes) resorts to begging for their help.
Zayday confesses to Chamberlain Jackson that she thinks there’s something weird about Dr. Munsch. She wonders why Dr. Munsch started a hospital to cure bizarre diseases and why she would ever hire the Chanels. She suspects Dr. Munsch is in on the killing and wants to get revenge by murdering all the Chanels.
Chanel #1 and Dr. Holt have a movie date and narcissistic Chanel again proves she has no empathy for others. But, Dr. Holt is turned on rather than turned off by her bitchiness and as the movie begins, he puts his arm around her shoulders. Almost immediately his replacement hand attempts to choke Chanel but she just thinks he’s groping her (which she likes). His hand won’t settle down and it grabs licorice from the guy behind them in the theater. Dr. Holt apologizes and Chanel thinks he’s just imitating the guy in the movie. She’s really into him and they make out.
Bubble Man and Chanel #5 have a heart-to-heart, with Chanel #5 depressed over the break-up a couple of years back with her (imaginary) high school boyfriend. Bubble Man tries to make her feel better and even shows her a picture of his hot self prior to the popping up of the bubbles. She vows to find the money for the laser to return him to hottie status.
Back at the hospital, Chanel #1 hears yelling and goes to investigate. She sees the Red Devil from season one and falls to the floor, screaming. Just when she thinks the axe is about to fall, the Red Devil takes off his mask and it’s Chad! Chad (Glen Powell) tells her he wants her back before putting the mask back on and leaving.
And back to the source of the yelling, it’s coming from Chad’s friend, Randall. Dr. Holt, with assistance from Chanel #1, and Dr. Munsch try to figure out what’s wrong with him. Chad shortly deduces Dr. Holt and Chanel #1 are dating and just as the arguing over Chanel gets good, Dr. Munsch shuts it down by comparing fighting over Chanel’s breasts to going to war over the Falkland Islands (a lot of work for an insignificant amount of land). Chad and his buddies were out hunting when Randall accidentally shot Liz Cheney in the face. Dr. Munsch feigns concern for Liz, and Dr. Holt diagnoses Randall with the Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease. Any sudden stimuli will startle him into screaming. Chanel compliments Dr. Holt and Chad brags he’s started a band. Randall doesn’t care about any of this, he just wants to be cured. Dr. Munsch says the hospital will find a cure for his incurable disease.
Chanel #5 and Bubble Man film a fundraising video, but Chanels #1 and #3 say she’s doing it all wrong. She has to stand by him now while he’s not hot, that way he’ll always stay with her.
Zayday and Chamberlain continue their Dr. Munsch investigation. Chamberlain steals microfiche from the library and they set up the reader in the hospital basement, out of the way. They discover the entire hospital staff was murdered on Halloween 1986 (one year after episode one’s Halloween party). Flashback to that night and the Green Meanie is slicing and dicing his way through the staff. Dr. Mike (Jerry O’Connell) falls victim to the monster he helped create while his nurse girlfriend runs for her life through the hospital halls. She’s not fast enough and takes a butcher knife to the back. Fluorescent green footprints mark the halls. The killer was never caught.
Ingrid Hoffel (Kirstie Alley) finds Zayday and Chamberlain in the basement and wants all the details on the Chanels. She wants their daily schedules but Zayday won’t help her.
Chad and Dr. Holt are showering in adjacent stalls, and it’s a penis competition of course. Chad keeps ripping Dr. Holt’s shower curtain open and finally steps in with him. They’re face-to-face, naked, soaking wet, and talking about checking Chanel’s box. After both admit this stand-off has become very homoerotic, Chad challenges Dr. Holt to a game of squash – winner takes Chanel. When they shake hands, their penises touch accidentally.
While having lunch in a diner, Bubble Man volunteers to help Chanel #5 find the killer. As they’re talking, two guys start making fun of Bubble Man. Chanel #5 beats the crap out of them, and then apologizes to Bubble Man for overreacting.
Zayday and Chamberlain confront Dr. Munsch about scrubbing the hospital’s history. Zayday also accuses her of either being the Green Meanie or hiring someone to do it. Dr. Munsch says she could use a friend because she has a secret to tell. She’s trying to save her own life because she has a disease. Headaches, joint pain, shivering, sweating, and then her neighbor asked why she was walking weird. Doctors don’t know what’s up and Dr. Munsch thinks she’s dying. Zayday apologizes for accusing her while outside Ingrid puts her ear to the door.
Alone in the hall, Dr. Munsch is attacked by the Green Meanie but she gives as good as she gets. Dr. Cascade and Chanel #3 arrive just as Dr. Munsch is about to rip off the monster’s mask. She tells them the Green Meanie is responsible for all the murders and turns to take off the mask but, of course, he’s escaped.
Doctors Holt and Cascade have figured out how to treat Randall’s screaming. As Dr. Holt explains the treatment to Chad, his replacement hand writes down food on a note pad.
Denise Hemphill (Niecy Nash) is back on the case, called in by Dr. Munsch. Denise says her instincts tell her Zayday is a stone cold hoe. And, to catch a killer you have to get inside the mind of a killer. She knows someone who can help them do that.
Chad and Dr. Holt have their squash showdown and Chad is delivering his best smack talk. Chad wants to know whose hand has been implanted on Dr. Holt’s arm. Dr. Holt doesn’t know, but the hand and the doctor threaten Chad with violence if he doesn’t back off Chanel.
Chanel #1, Denise, Dr. Munsch, and Chanel #3 pay a visit to Hester (Lea Michele) who is locked up in a cell that looks just like Hannibal Lecter’s. Hester knows all about the killings and that there’s a connection to the Halloween murders from 30 years ago. “Quid pro quo, Chanel. I’ll tell you everything that I know but first I want a transfer to your hospital and I want a room with a view,” says Hester, doing her best Hannibal Lecter impersonation. She also has a list of skin products she wants, all of which were discontinued a decade ago.
Bubble Man and Chanel #5 are on the step of the hospital about to kiss when the Chanels show up to celebrate the fact Bubble Man/Tyler passed the test. He’s hanging with Chanel #5, someone society said is hideous. They’re buying the laser for his treatment as a reward. Chanel #1 got the money from Chad.
Chad’s meeting with a private detective who he apparently hired to find out what women think of his penis. He also found out the identity of the man who donated Dr. Holt’s hand. It’s Marshall Winthrop, a world champion squash player who would murder the opponents he beat. He killed 600+ people and was caught while eating his favorite meal, the same items Dr. Holt wrote on the note pad. He was executed but was also a full-body donor.
Chad confronts Dr. Holt about his serial killer hand.
Zayday and Chamberlain try and figure out Dr. Munsch’s disease. When Chamberlain suggests a break for Ethiopian food, Zayday knows what Dr. Munsch has. They tell Dr. Munsch she has a disease cannibals get after they eat people which makes sense since Dr. Munsch just visited New Guinea. She has less than a year to live. Dr. Munsch swears them to secrecy, but Ingrid planted a bug and is listening in.
Bubble Man tells Chanel #5 via video chat he’s proud to have her as his girlfriend. He’s so happy she sees the real him under all the tumors. He also says he found out something about the killer and it’s a game-changer. As they’re talking, he gets wheeled away for surgery. Chanel #1 and Chanel #3 arrive and Chanel #5 is upset because there’s no way Bubble Man should be going in for surgery right this minute.
Bubble Man gets strapped to the gurney and it’s actually the Green Meanie who is wielding the laser. Bubble Man is dead and Chanel #1 announces, “Ladies, we have another serial killer on our hands.”