Fox’s Lucifer season two episode 15 kicks off with Charlotte (Tricia Helfer) assuring her sons Azrael’s Blade is what they need to return to Heaven. Lucifer (Tom Ellis) smashes his fist through a wall and retrieves the blade from its hiding place. Charlotte’s sure the blade is actually the Flaming Sword, but Lucifer says it’s small and not flaming. Apparently, only Lucifer can make the flames appear and only when he’s angry.
In order to set the blade on fire, Charlotte believes Lucifer needs to be furious for the sword that guarded Eden to sprout fire. Amenadiel (DB Woodside) offers to try it but Charlotte reminds him Lucifer is the Light Bringer and just needs to get angry, so Amenadiel punches his brother in the face. Lucifer’s shocked and tells Amenadiel to hold the blade, prepared to kick him in the groin to get even. Charlotte stops the fight, telling them they need to work together. Lucifer must learn to control his emotions for this to work.
Lucifer explains the plan to Dr. Linda (Rachael Harris), telling her they’re going to use the Flaming Sword to cut through the gates of Heaven. She can’t believe there are actual gates and asks about old dudes playing harps. Lucifer makes her focus on his problem and she tells him emotions can’t be controlled. And then Dr. Linda suggests Lucifer married Candy to hide something, but Lucifer brings the conversation back to his emotions. He needs to light the sword and Dr. Linda tells him he’s created walls and until he brings them down, she can’t help him.
It’s morning and Chloe (Lauren German) forgot to make breakfast. which leaves Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) incredulous and wondering what’s wrong with her roommate. Chloe can’t believe Maze cares about her feelings, and she admits she’s a little upset Lucifer got married. As she talks, Maze secretly puts in her headphones and listens to music. So much for the caring roommate! Maze shakes her head as if listening, but when she doesn’t answer specific questions Chloe figures out Maze isn’t paying any attention. Maze admits she can’t deal with human emotions before she has breakfast.
Lucifer brings Chloe her favorite coffee drink, celebrating they are a team of crime-fighting divorcees about to tackle a new case. This case involves the murder of therapist Debbie Lang, the head of admissions at a prestigious elementary school. Ella (Aimee Garcia) confirms Debbie was stabbed in the back and Dan says there were no signs of breaking and entering. Lucifer reads off Debbie’s framed degrees on the wall, seemingly happy to confirm therapists obviously don’t know anything. Ella confesses she sees a psychologist, saying there’s a lot of darkness going on in her head. Lucifer gives her one of his “I need to know more about you” smiles before Chloe interrupts to point out a pair of scissors are missing from a framed ribbon-cutting plaque. (Of course, Lucifer sees the outline of the missing scissors and immediately thinks penis and balls.) The scissors are the murder weapon, so off they go to the school to find out if Debbie had any enemies.
Debbie’s boss, Murray (Geoffrey Owens), calls her the heart and soul of the Starford Academy. When Lucifer’s told he can’t use his phone at school, he tells Chloe the school is weird and the case is boring. But, his attention is engaged again when Murray explains the school focuses on emotional self-control. Lucifer, all smiles, says, “Let the schooling begin!”
Lucifer hijacks the investigation to ask how long it takes for the students to gain emotional self-control. When Murray says parents notice it in just one class, Lucifer checks out brochures while Murray answers Chloe’s questions about Debbie. Debbie had no enemies at the school so Chloe asks if parents stalked her looking to get their children enrolled. (Chloe sounds like she’s done this herself for Trixie.) Murray says that doesn’t happen at this school, but then he remembers a recent incident in which Debbie got into a vicious verbal fight with parents denied entry.
Chloe pulls in the parents whose child was denied enrollment and they admit saying they’d kill her while arguing with Debbie. Debbie had implied if they gave a big donation, their son Wolf would get in. They were angry when Wolf wasn’t admitted after they gave money and when Debbie said the money was not received. Their check cleared and now they’re taking legal action, but they swear they didn’t kill Debbie. Dan (Kevin Alejandro) enters the interrogation room and slips photos to Chloe. She asks the parents why the murder weapon was recovered in their pool house and they look surprised.
While everyone else in Lux is drinking and dancing, Lucifer is sitting at the bar studying the children’s book, “Your Feelings and You.” He’s concentrating on the book which has him a bit confused when three ladies show up claiming to be police officers ready to place him under arrest. He realizes they were sent by his mother and he yells for her to stop snooping and show herself. She admits she tried to choose women who look like Chloe in an attempt to incite a different emotion that might spark the Flaming Sword. “A foursome isn’t an emotion, mom,” explains Lucifer, clearly frustrated with her meddling.
Lucifer returns to his reading, assuring his mom he’ll eventually be able to control his emotions. When she tells him he’d understand her rush to return home if he had a child, Lucifer has an epiphany. He needs a child!
Lucifer appears in Chloe’s apartment unannounced and Chloe threatens to tie a bell around his neck. Lucifer, of course, believes that would be fun foreplay but Chloe’s in detective mode and ignores him. She believes the knife was planted and that maybe somebody at the school embezzled Wood’s parents’ donation. Chloe thinks maybe the killer is whoever embezzled the funds so she wants to check that out. As she’s rambling on, she notices Trixie (Scarlett Estevez) isn’t ready for school which means she’ll miss the bus. Lucifer steps in and volunteers to take Trixie to school, and Trixie’s fine with that.
They cruise up to the Starford Academy which is definitely not Trixie’s school. Lucifer reminds her to play along and she’ll get whatever she wants. She introduces herself to the school’s representative as Trixie Morningstar, extending her arm and shaking hands while Lucifer smiles like a proud dad.
The tour is underway and Lucifer quietly asks Trixie if they have to touch (they’re holding hands), asking if maybe there’s a leash they could use instead. Trixie asks if he wants to sell this or not, and Lucifer gives in and continues to hold her little hand. Hurrying things up, he wants to see where kids go to harness their emotions. Maybe there’s a class where you can turn feelings into weapons? The PE teacher doing the tour, subbing for the deceased Debbie, knows just where to take them next.
Meanwhile, Dan and Chloe visit Murray again and he confesses to cashing the check. He was feeling pressure to live up to the standards at Starford and his paycheck wasn’t cutting it. He tries to blame Debbie’s death on the parents who made the donation, and when Dan tells him they’re not sure they’re the murders, Murray asks them to disregard his confession about the money.
The PE teacher walks in on the meeting and when Chloe introduces herself, he tells her Trixie’s a great kid. Chloe is stumped and asks how he knows Trixie, and he explains Trixie’s dad brought her in and she’s in Madison’s class right now. Dan, Trixie’s real dad, knows that’s not true and Chloe steps out to find out what Lucifer’s up to now.
The sexy Devil is sitting in on Madison’s class, more interested in her lesson than her actual students are. Today’s lesson has to do with bad feelings being harnessed into good actions, and when she asks for someone to share their thoughts, Lucifer raises his hand. He believes it’s ageist when Madison doesn’t let him talk, and he makes Trixie raise her hand. Chloe stands at the back of the class and listens in as Trixie confesses she feels sad because her mom almost died. Trixie knows her mom helps lots of people and so she doesn’t want her to worry. Lucifer welcomes her to the club of parental deceit. When he says it’s the price you pay for being clever, Trixie actually smiles.
After Trixie shares her feelings, Lucifer asks what’s the next step. Madison says she should channel her feelings into something productive, like writing a poem. “A poem?! I came here to learn how to turn emotions into energy, not to become Dr. Seuss,” says Lucifer. As Lucifer’s going off about not getting the answer he wants, the kid seated next to him draws a picture he says is of his mom stabbing Debbie. Chloe calls out to Lucifer and he is immediately on the defensive since he basically kidnapped Trixie. He points out that at least he solved the case.
Chloe gives Dan the boy’s mother’s information and he heads out. Lucifer and Trixie approach and Trixie tells her mom not to be mad at Lucifer, taking the blame for being at the school. Chloe tells Trixie she can talk to her anytime about anything, and what Trixie really wants to tell her mom is that she wants to ride with Lucifer to her real school. Chloe agrees and Trixie runs to Lucifer’s car. Chloe tells Lucifer he’s lucky Trixie likes him and Lucifer delivers the episode’s title in response. “I’m starting to respect the deceptive little parasite.”
Lucifer says a deal’s a deal and tosses the keys to his convertible to Trixie as she slips behind the wheel. Chloe immediately puts the kibosh on this unexpected development and Lucifer whispers to Trixie that driving lessons will have to wait until her mom’s not around.
After dropping off Trixie, Lucifer parks in an underground lot and is immediately attacked by a hooded figure. The person has superhero strength and tosses him around, and he’s shocked to discover it’s his mom trying to make him afraid for his life to get the blade fired up. He says to trust him, that he’s dealing with it, and he doesn’t understand why she’s angry and why this is so urgent.
Back at the station, Chloe is stunned to receive an invitation to visit Starford because they’re considering admitting Trixie. Dan calls the place pretentious and can’t believe she’s considering it, but she explains Trixie’s opening up after just one morning there. Dan agrees they can consider it after the murder investigation is solved.
Dan and Chloe interview Joy, the mother of the child who drew a picture of Debbie’s death, and she admits she said she wanted to kill Debbie a lot, but didn’t think her son was really paying attention. She did it because Debbie made her feel like a bad mom, and Dan chimes in that this school doesn’t sound like a great environment. Chloe asks for her alibi and she says she was with the PE teacher. It’s a standing date on Tuesday nights. She says the teacher is as “dumb as a box of hair, but he does know how to move,” and all the moms know it. Joy’s asked if she knows of anyone who hated Debbie, and it sounds like every parent hated the wicked witch. Joy suggests they attend the Grieving Gathering to find more suspects.
Chloe’s anxious about her outfit for the gathering and Maze is impressed she’s making such an effort. Maze, minus the earbuds, listens as Chloe explains Trixie might get into a private school which will be good for her, but Chloe’s not sure she wants her in this exclusive environment. Maze thinks the place would be perfect for Trixie, telling Chloe Trixie will learn to slash them with her words. Then, Maze will step in and teach her to literally slash them using knives. This is not helpful at all, but Chloe thanks Maze anyway.
The woman checking parents in at the Grieving Gathering is being very condescending to Chloe when she checks in alone. Out of nowhere, Maze joins Chloe and says they’re together. The attitude of the check-in lady and the parents waiting in line immediately changes as they all approve of two mommies. Maze calls Chloe “honey” and then gives her a very short kiss on the lips.
After they check in, Maze admits she didn’t want Chloe to go into enemy territory by herself. Chloe thanks her and they check out the crowd. The event coordinator says they’d be happy to have them join the school’s family. The coordinator invites her to join their mid-afternoon yoga group, but Chloe declines since she works full time. Maze chimes in that Chloe’s a homicide detective and a pistol in the sack, throwing her arm around Chloe’s neck. Chloe laughs it off and when the coordinator walks away, Maze doesn’t remove her arm. Maze points out all these parents are miserable and huge gossips, so Chloe says they should give them something to talk about. Maze slaps her butt as they walk through the crowd.
Meanwhile, Amenadiel is trying to get the blade to flame up with no luck. From behind it looks like he’s masturbating, and of course Lucifer has no choice but to comment on Amenadiel going blind. Amenadiel admits he can’t get the blade to spark and is angry he’s also no longer the center of their mom’s attention. Lucifer tells Amenadiel he could have at least warned him about their mother’s super-strength, and Amenadiel finally loses it with his brother. He yells at Lucifer about always playing victim, reminding him he’s the Light Bringer. Lucifer’s not sure that’s true since they have only their mother’s word on it. He also wonders what’s wrong with their mom because she’s obviously on edge and is obsessed with getting home. He wants to send her home and Amenadiel says he must get serious and find a way to get them home, roughly handing the blade back to Lucifer.
Back at the school party, Maze and Chloe are busy trying to get people to spill the beans on Debbie. Maze confides in another parent, telling him they think the killer might be at the gathering, hoping he’ll spread the word. She lies and says they have newfound DNA evidence in the car right this minute and someone at the event is going to jail. Before he walks away, she tells him to keep it a secret. He immediately spreads the word, whispering to his fellow gossips. The news of an impending arrest spreads and Chloe and Maze watch it make its way through the parents and staff.
Almost immediately, Madison the teacher is outside trying to break into Chloe’s car. She’s about to launch a rock through the driver’s window when Lucifer strolls up and wants to know more about channeling emotions. Madison’s preoccupied and Lucifer figures out she wants something from Chloe’s car. He unlocks it with his own remote but asks her not to tell Chloe he has one. Keeping it all about himself, he also wants to know if she does private tutoring.
Chloe finally arrives and asks Lucifer what he’s up to. He explains Madison’s in the car looking for something and Chloe says she’s the killer. Lucifer can’t believe it and Madison proves Chloe’s right by getting out of the car with Chloe’s gun, which she points at the detective team. Madison tells them to stay back and when they keep talking, she fires twice into the air. All the parents and teachers rush outside, and Madison changes her aim to focus on the dumb but handsome PE teacher. It seems everyone sleeps with the PE teacher and Madison’s one-night stand years ago resulted in a son who takes after his dad in the brains department. Since Madison’s husband is intelligent, Debbie figured out the PE teacher was Madison’s son’s real father and was going to out the teacher as the real father.
Chloe convinces Madison to put down the gun after Chloe reminds her she met Chloe’s daughter, Trixie. Madison says she tried to control her anger but couldn’t, and Lucifer of course brings this back to his needs. He realizes the controlling your emotions thing was just a sham and is disgusted. When Madison continues to whine about her feelings, Maze streaks in and tackles her. “Listening to feelings is not my thing. Right, honey?” says Maze. As Lucifer walks away he suggests the PE teacher take his son out of the school, but the teacher hasn’t quite connected the dots that he had a son with Madison.
Back at Chloe’s, Trixie is tucked in bed and Chloe tells her she can go to Starford if she wants to. Chloe shares her feelings that the school initially seemed so fancy and intimidating, but then she found out the other moms were also scared and weren’t actually perfect. Chloe says it’s okay to pretend but she doesn’t want Trixie to ever have to pretend with her. Trixie admits she didn’t like the school, and then Chloe admits she didn’t like it either.
Lucifer tells Dr. Linda she was right about the feelings thing, and he comes clean with his real plan. He’s going to use the Flaming Sword to open the gates of Heaven. Then, he’ll push his mom through and slam them shut after her. She’ll be trapped, and he hopes his mom and dad will get what they deserve – punishment for manipulating him. He stops himself from voicing exactly what he feels about how his mother treated him and Dr. Linda suggests he needs to let himself feel that pain and heartbreak. It’s what he’s been suppressing. She adds in it’s also about Chloe. He must go through the pain in order to get over it.
Lucifer meets with his mom and Amenadiel back at Lux, and he believes he knows how to make the blade flame up. He stares at the blade without speaking and it lights on fire in his hand. He begins crying as it continues to burn and then goes out. His mom tells him to try harder but Lucifer can’t. “I’m not broken. The sword must be,” he insists. Amenadiel says they have plenty of time to work on it and Charlotte agrees, but her face as she’s walking out says time’s running out.
Once she’s in the elevator and out of sight of her sons, Charlotte peels back a band-aid on her wrist. It exposes a slit through which a fiery red light shines through.
More on Lucifer:
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 16 God Johnson Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 14 Candy Morningstar Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 13 A Good Day to Die Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 12 Love Handles Recap
