Fox’s Lucifer season 2 episode 16 begins with Lucifer (Tom Ellis) on a gurney being rolled down a hospital corridor. He’s muttering to himself that he’s delusional and not actually the Devil. Flashback to 36 hours earlier and the sexy Devil’s having a chat with Dr. Linda (Rachael Harris). She’s preoccupied with Lucifer’s last session in which he wanted to send his mom home to Heaven so she and his dad can have a knock-down drag-out fight. As Dr. Linda sees it, that would probably be bad for humanity. Not to worry though because Lucifer still can’t get the Flaming Sword to stay lit.
Lucifer admits he hasn’t confided in Maze which worries Dr. Linda. “As much as I love my little sex thug, Maze can do things she thinks are in my best interest that turn out to be disastrous and I can’t afford that,” confesses Lucifer. Lucifer adds that Maze and Chloe have become practically inseparable.
Speaking of Maze’s new bestie, Chloe (Lauren German) is sneaking around her own apartment when Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) catches her. Maze has made Chloe breakfast (charcoaled toast) and Chloe finally has to just tell her they’ve been hanging out a lot and maybe they need to expand their circle of friends. Maze thinks she knows what Chloe’s suggesting, but odds are she doesn’t.
Back at work, Chloe and Lucifer investigate the murder of an orderly who was hit in the back of his head with a backgammon board. The patients at the psychiatric hospital haven’t been interviewed, according to Ella (Aimee Garcia), and Lucifer chimes in that he loves the mentally ill. He enjoys being amused by people who believe they’re someone other than themselves, and he’s happy to hear the person who discovered the body is God Johnson. Dan (Kevin Alejandro) fills them in on the scoop that God believes he’s the real God. Chloe pats Lucifer’s back, telling him they should have a lot to talk about. Lucifer is more than happy to have a talk with God, but Dan says he can’t until the hospital sets it up.
Lucifer, of course, sneaks in anyway and God (Timothy Omundson) greets him with, “Hello, my son.” Lucifer decides to fill this God in on the real God, calling his dad a dick. God takes this well and when Lucifer does the eye whammy thing it doesn’t work. Lucifer decides it didn’t work because God’s on drugs and as Lucifer’s being kicked out of the room, God says, “It’s really good seeing you, Samael.” Lucifer can’t believe his ears and turns around to look at God just as the light breaks through the window blinds, making it appear he’s got a halo.
Lucifer follows up his visit with God by questioning Amenadiel (DB Woodside) about the possibility dad is visiting Earth. Amenadiel doesn’t think it’s him because God usually sends an emissary. Amenadiel isn’t taking this nearly as seriously as Lucifer, saying God could have found the name Samael on the internet. But Lucifer reveals he never introduced himself. Amenadiel believes God Johnson is just crazy, but Lucifer’s edging toward the “this is our real dad” theory.
Amenadiel reminds Lucifer Earth is nothing in comparison to Heaven, but Lucifer’s not so sure Amenadiel is being truthful about his feelings toward this planet. Lucifer asks his brother if there’s anything he’ll miss …. maybe a certain someone in tight leather pants?
Back at the police station, Ella wonders what if God is one of us which prompts Chloe to recite lyrics from Joan Osborne’s “One of Us.” Lucifer announces his father would never ride a bus and therefore that song is unrealistic. (Lucifer hates that song.) Ella believes God Johnson might be the killer because she found fingerprints from God (real name: Earl Johnson from Texas) on the victim’s bald head. Lucifer latches onto the idea God’s the killer, happy this will expose this false God’s false idolatry.
Unfortunately, they can’t interview God since Lucifer broke the rules and now it will take a few days to get permission from the hospital. So what’s a Devil to do? Check himself into the psychiatric hospital and request a suite with a view. He goes into his whole I’m Lucifer Morningstar the Devil spiel and the clerk isn’t in the least bit impressed. It’s not until Lucifer physically threatens the clerk that he gets his way and is locked up.
Meanwhile, Dan’s raging through the police station trying to find the culprit who stole his pudding. Turns out it’s Charlotte who offers him a taste. When she tries to seduce him, he tells her hands off and storms away.
Now a patient, Lucifer takes a seat with a group of patients playing imaginary poker. He asks his fellow card players what they know about God Johnson, and one reveals God scored him an extra Jell-O. Lucifer’s getting nowhere and declares he has a royal flush which prompts an uproar and the tossing of underwear onto his face as he walks away.
Lucifer spots God holding onto a woman and it looks like he’s strangling her. She falls to the floor and God lays his hands on her, saying he’s saving her. The wound on her neck miraculously heals and she does indeed come back to life. “It really is you, you son of a bitch!” says Lucifer before punching God in the face.
Lucifer’s proud of himself for going undercover but Chloe’s not in a praising mood when she visits him at the hospital. He admits he’s doing this as a mix of solving the crime and taking care of personal issues, assuring Chloe God had the punch to the face coming. Then, Lucifer admits God might actually be his father after all. Poor Chloe, who already went through this once with Lucifer when he was searching for his mother, and she can’t believe Lucifer’s at it again. Lucifer tries to assure Chloe God is not the killer because he personally saw God heal a woman who’d been attacked just last night. And, Lucifer has even bigger news. Santa Claus is the real killer, according to the newly resurrected attack victim.
Chloe has a talk with the doctor on staff, and Dr. Liam Garrity (Alimi Ballard) asks if Lucifer’s her boyfriend. She says he’s just a co-worker and after they flirt a bit, Dr. Garrity hands her his card.
Lucifer and God have a little one-on-one time away from prying eyes. Lucifer asks him to apologize but instead God forgives him for the punch. God’s happy to know Lucifer believes him now and then Lucifer begins listing off all the offenses committed against him by his father – casting him into Hell, manipulating the detective, etc. “You are a patronizing, sinister helicopter parent,” yells Lucifer, finishing up the list. “Every bad thing that’s happened throughout eternity is your doing, not mine!”
When Lucifer brings up his mom, God’s shocked to hear she’s on Earth. He recalls when they first met and how they almost immediately lit up the universe. Lucifer’s done with the walk down memory lane and demands his dad atone for what he’s done. God says this Lucifer isn’t the one he remembers, and an obviously upset and hurt Lucifer’s eyes flash red as he waits for an apology. Their argument’s interrupted by the appearance of Dr. Linda.
Chloe talks to Maze about Lucifer’s doctor who hit on her and Maze advises her to go for it. Maze also lets her new BFF know she’s set up a booze cruise for tonight to expand their circle of friends. Maze offers to help Chloe set up the date with the doctor, but Chloe refuses.
Once again to the police station we go where Ella’s now hooked on “One of Us.” Chloe wonders if Ella found any evidence pointing to Santa Claus and strangely enough Ella found a long white hair on the victim’s clothes. Chloe thumbs through a list of patients and spots one who could be mistaken for Santa. And it just so happens Chloe can attempt to get an interview via Dr. Garrity who has the hots for her. She gives Maze a call and takes her up on the offer to help set up the date.
Back at the hospital, Dr. Linda’s barely holding it together after Lucifer informs her she just met God. Lucifer pushes Dr. Linda around in a wheelchair as she uses a paper bag to catch her breath. He wants her to spit in God’s face but she refuses. Then Lucifer has a new idea on how to punish his parents and needs Dr. Linda’s help.
Lucifer gathers all the patients and tells them they’ve been selected to help him escape. When one patient protests because there’s pudding, Lucifer tells them to think about what they really want to do and then sends each off to live out their fantasies. One wants to burn it down, once just wants to turn the lights off and on, and of course the underwear chucker wants to chuck underwear. Once they’ve dispersed, it’s just Lucifer and God who remain when the alarm goes off.
Lucifer and God walk (in slow motion) through the chaos as patients tear the hospital apart. Feathers fly, chairs soar through the air, and fires spring up as Lucifer and God dodge underwear. While the staff race to get things under control, Lucifer and God are sprung by Dr. Linda who bows at God’s feet. He tells her a handshake will do.
Maze set up the date and at the last minute reveals they’ll be staying home. Maze wants a threesome but Chloe is against that idea, so Maze says she’s fine to just watch. Thankfully, a knock on the door halts their conversation but instead of the good doctor, it’s Amenadiel.
Another date is just about to get underway as Lucifer’s cleared Lux and has placed candles throughout the night club. He and Dr. Linda hide behind the bar as Charlotte (Tricia Helfer) approaches God who calls her radiant. Dr. Linda’s confused and then figures out Lucifer’s trying to “Parent Trap” God and a divine Goddess. Lucifer thinks since it worked in the movie, it should work for his parents. He’s figured out that if they fall in love again, they’ll eventually get back to torturing each other.
Charlotte isn’t sure who this man is until he calls Lucifer their son. She approaches God Johnson as if to hold him and instead knees him in the balls.
The romantic date night isn’t going well at Chloe’s place either. The doctor arrives and they eat pizza which Maze ordered with pineapple and jalapenos. Chloe tries to keep the conversation going, but Amenadiel and Maze aren’t helping that much. Maze says she’s from Hell and throws in that she changed Chloe’s sheets so she’s “good to go.” Maze, the master of subtlety…
Chloe pulls Maze into the kitchen as Amenadiel sits within inches of the doctor on the couch. Out of nowhere, Amenadiel says to the bald doctor, “I like the shape of your head.”
Maze understands Chloe wants her privacy and she and Amenadiel talk in the kitchen. Amenadiel fishes the dishes out of the trash that Maze just threw away and then confesses he’s there because they don’t have much time left on Earth. He then confides in Maze that he, Lucifer, and Charlotte are going back to Heaven. Maze, for once, is speechless.
Chloe and the doctor get to know each other and talk, in general, about his patients. When she asks about the guy who looks like Santa, Dr. Garrity figures out there’s something going on. The date comes to an end when the doctor gets a text saying Lucifer and God just escaped.
A very angry Charlotte confronts Lucifer, demanding to know what he was thinking. Lucifer tries to convince her God really misses her, and God – now recovered enough to walk – agrees. He tells Charlotte he can’t remember why they were fighting and she apologizes for trying to destroy Earth. “I guess humanity isn’t entirely awful. They did make vodka, roller coasters, and triple creme brie. “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” plays as they dance while Lucifer and Dr. Linda look on. Lucifer looks peaceful for once and Dr. Linda notices and asks, “Are you sure it’s revenge you’re after?” Lucifer replies without taking his eyes off his parents. “Of course it is. What else would it be?”
God and Charlotte continue to dance and then passionately kiss. Just then Chloe and two officers barge in to spoil the mood. God’s taken away and Charlotte fumes.
Chloe demands to know what Lucifer was thinking so he lets her know God Johnson is his dad and he needed to “do a little match-making.” Chloe has no idea how Charlotte ties into all this as a nurse arrives with a tray of meds. Lucifer happily calls them a perk of the place.
Chloe stops by the doctor’s office to apologize for lying on their date. Dr. Garrity reveals Santa is a big teddy bear who isn’t dangerous, so he’s probably not the killer. He allows her to look at the file which includes a Christmas photo of a man actually dressed as Santa Claus. The doctor says a different patient dresses up as Santa each year, and together they go check out the costume in a locked closet. Chloe, wearing gloves, can’t find the beard or the red hat. She asks the doctor to put on handcuffs.
Back in Lucifer’s room (he still has a day left on his 72-hour hold), the drugs are kicking in and he can’t feel his tongue. He looks in the mirror, grabs his tongue, and wiggles it, while a person in the Santa hat and beard slowly approaches from behind. Lucifer sees Santa but isn’t scared, and Santa easily knocks him out.
And now we’re back to the scene that opened the episode. Lucifer’s on the gurney being wheeled down the hall, and he tells Santa he’s the Devil. Santa replies by assuring Lucifer he’s just a man in a mental hospital who made up the Devil story. Lucifer screams, “I made it all up!” as he’s wheeled in next to God (also on a gurney).
Santa demands to know what Lucifer told the police and God replies by calling Santa by her real name, Nurse Kipsey (Laura Coover). She takes off her disguise, wondering why the drugs didn’t work on God. She declares she has to kill them both since they know her identity.
Chloe works on getting a fingerprint and it tracks to a Patricia Hightower. Dr. Garrity says a patient named Sue Hightower is the one who was just attacked. A picture of Patricia comes through and it’s Nurse Kipsey.
Nurse Kipsey/Patricia explains she hated her mother and now she’s torturing her mom. Lucifer takes her side and says evil parents need to be destroyed, but then adds he’ll have to punish her because the orderly was innocent. However, the massive amount of Haldol is keeping Lucifer in check. Patricia notices God is wearing a belt and comes up with the idea God will kill Lucifer and then strangle himself.
After she leaves to get supplies, God admits he had no idea Lucifer was so mad at him. Lucifer says it was because God rejected him, and God doesn’t blame him. God doesn’t even remember why he was mad in the first place and apologizes for everything. He adds that he’s proud of the man Lucifer’s become.
Patricia returns and God yells at her not to take his belt. As she whips it off, Chloe and the cops arrive to stop Patricia. Beltless, God no longer remembers what happened. He doesn’t know who Lucifer is and just then Lucifer spots the belt buckle on the floor. “The piece is here,” says Lucifer, echoing what Azrael said to him as he died.
Back at home, Lucifer places the belt buckle onto Azrael’s Blade and it fits snuggly. He tells Amenadiel that’s why the Flaming Sword didn’t work – it wasn’t complete. Mr. Johnson must have found it and since Azrael’s Blade inspired death, the missing piece which God Johnson possessed must have inspired the opposite. When Mr. Johnson found out he could heal, he believed he was God.
Lucifer’s ready to activate the blade when the piece falls off it. They wonder if mom knows what’s going on, but she’s nowhere to be found.
Charlotte pays a visit to Dan, admitting she kissed a man who she thought was her ex-husband but he wasn’t. She’s confused and just wants to be held by Dan (with his pants off).
Lucifer says goodbye to Mr. Johnson, asking what the last thing was he remembered. He remembers walking through a Navajo gift shop and picking up a belt buckle, and then nothing until coming on the gurney in the hospital. Lucifer admits he thought Mr. Johnson was his father and thanks him for what he said while he had no control over his actions. Mr. Johnson asks if Lucifer’s no longer mad at his father and Lucifer admits he’s furious because his real father would never say those things to him. He now hates God even more.
More on Lucifer:
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 17 Sympathy for the Goddess Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 15 Deceptive Little Parasite Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 14 Candy Morningstar Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 13 A Good Day to Die Recap
– Lucifer Season 2 Episode 12 Love Handles Recap
