After making a deal with the Devil in Lucifer season three episode 12, Cain/Lt. Marcus Pierce (Tom Welling) pays a visit to Lucifer’s place. Lucifer (Tom Ellis) has a chainsaw but Cain knows that won’t kill him and neither will being eaten by wolves, falling into a volcano, or swallowing a grenade. Nothing works, and Cain is sure of that since he’s been trying to kill himself for thousands of years.
Lucifer really wants to get back at his dad, but even heaving a demon blade from Hell into Cain’s back doesn’t do the trick. The blade can kill Lucifer, but it can’t kill Cain. Cain, frustrated and unfortunately still alive, gives up and leaves.
Chloe (Lauren German) and Dan (Kevin Alejandro) meet up at a crime scene that happens to be near a house they considered buying years ago. Back then it didn’t have a dead chemistry teacher in a woodchipper sitting nearby. The neighbors can’t believe someone did this to June and claim everyone loved her.
Lucifer asks Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) for help with a solution on how to kill Cain. She shows off her torture instruments, but even she can’t believe her blades don’t work on Cain. Maze suggests he figure out why Chloe makes him vulnerable, reminding him his dear old dad is all about “mind games and loopholes.”
Lucifer takes Maze’s advice and decides to get inside – not literally, much to Maze’s disappointment – Cain’s head. He turns Lt. Marcus Pierce’s office into his own private doctor’s office, using what he’s learned from Dr. Linda to probe Pierce. Marcus tries to throw Lucifer out, but Lucifer refuses to leave. He explains he has to understand Cain to kill him, sure everyone has a kryptonite. Pierce, however, refuses to play along.
Chloe’s happy Pierce is sticking around, covering her overly enthusiastic reaction to the news by saying she needs his help on the woodchipper case. Turns out June isn’t really June; she’s actually a woman named Sandra who died three years ago. Lucifer’s equally as enthusiastic as Chloe to get to work so closely with Pierce on this new case, hoping he’ll learn more about what makes him tick. (Love the scenes with Tom Ellis and Tom Welling! More of these, please, Lucifer writers.)
Chloe, Pierce, and Lucifer go over the crime scene photos and explore Sandra’s past. She had a rap sheet and could have been on the run when she faked her own death. Dan arrives to let them know Sandra was a chemist and had a recipe for KPop (ecstasy) on her computer. She was cooking KPop for a gang called the Korean Power. And Lucifer, of course, confirms KPop’s still on the market. “It’s wonderful stuff. It makes your skin feel like a baby chinchilla,” says Lucifer while Chloe can only shake her head.
Lucifer arranges a meeting with an ecstasy dealer.
Elsewhere in the station, Maze is looking for new criminals to catch and torture when she gets a whiff of Charlotte (Tricia Helfer). Maze informs Charlotte she used to know her, but Charlotte has no memory of ever meeting the leather-clad Maze. Maze reveals Charlotte smells different, describing the new smell as wonderful. Maze breathes deeply inches from Charlotte’s skin, invading her personal space while declaring Charlotte smells incredible.
Over at Lux, Lucifer’s slightly disappointed when Chloe arrives for the meeting without Pierce. He informs Chloe that Pierce stayed because of him, but Chloe – as per usual – believes Lucifer’s delusional.
It turns out Lucifer’s bartender is the ecstasy dealer and he tells Chloe he gets KPop from the Korean Power. The bartender says the lady who cooked the drugs stole from the gang and so there was a hit out on her. Her lab blew up in a freak accident before the gang could get to her. He also reveals the boss is Brandon Hong (Steve Suh) and he’s usually at a local karaoke parlor.
Chloe refuses to follow the bartender’s lead without going through proper channels, reminding Lucifer they can’t just show up and go, “Hello, drug dealers!” Of course, that’s exactly what Lucifer does without Chloe as backup.
Lucifer asks for the boss and then easily takes down the minions, all without breaking a sweat. He fights his way through to the boss and then reveals he’s there to help him.
Brandon Hong shows up at the police station, meeting with a dismayed Chloe who doesn’t understand how he knew they wanted to speak to him. He also confesses he runs the Korean Power and that the gang specializes in drug dealing and extortion. He also claims they didn’t kill Sandra and that he actually fell for the lab explosion bit and assumed she was dead.
Brandon continues with his confession, admitting Sandra called him to pay back the money she stole, with interest. He forgave the theft but didn’t forgive her for leaving. She was the best cook they had and his profits have gone done since she left. He’s even okay with being arrested for confessing to felonies, if it helps find Sandra’s killer.
After the interrogation, Chloe asks Lucifer if he paid Brandon a visit against her orders. He admits it, saying he gave Brandon the KPop formula in exchange for his cooperation. When Chloe gets upset, Lucifer reminds her no one wants inferior product on the streets ruining orgies. Since they have Brandon, Lucifer wants to involve Pierce. Unfortunately, Chloe says no to Pierce’s involvement.
Chloe and Lucifer go through the evidence again and try and figure out how Sandra made her money. They discover she was making drugs and selling them on her own.
Finally, Lucifer gets his way and they consult Pierce. Lucifer says Sandra’s not cooking ecstasy but more like a really smooth Adderall, sniffing as he describes it. (Pierce can’t believe Lucifer snorted the evidence.) Chloe thinks someone in the neighborhood was upset the drugs were being sold there and killed her.
So, long story short, Lucifer and Pierce act like a couple (and look too adorable while doing so), renting a house in Sandra’s neighborhood. Lucifer takes this couple thing super seriously while Pierce just isn’t into it at all. He keeps resorting to his “resting Pierce face,” as Lucifer has dubbed it.
Over dinner with Anya (Audrey Moore) and Brian (Paul Fitzgerald), a couple from the neighborhood, Lucifer reveals he and his husband met through his dad. He also says his dad would disapprove of their relationship, while Pierce tries to make Lucifer keep his hands to himself.
Meanwhile, Dan and Charlotte have a dinner date at a nice restaurant. It’s interrupted by Maze who greets Charlotte with, “Hi, sexy.” Maze is there because she wants a threesome, and Charlotte wonders if they’ve done that before. They haven’t but Dan agrees to one now, if Charlotte’s into it.
Back at Lucifer and Pierce’s place, they learn there’s a neighborhood watchdog who’s been leaving threatening notes and basically terrorizing the block. Anya and Brian don’t know who it is, but the notes are for things like holiday décor, loud music, and trimming unruly hedges.
Maze and Charlotte have a moment alone, and Maze figures out it’s pain and torment she can smell on Charlotte. Charlotte says since she almost died, she’s been trying to get her life back to normal. Maze says normal doesn’t interest her and blows off the threesome.
Chloe’s been listening in and she watches the neighbors leave Lucifer’s house. She talks to Lucifer over the walkie-talkie as Lucifer yells at Pierce that he has to do the dishes. Lucifer tells Chloe not to worry, he can draw out the neighborhood watchdog.
The next day, Lucifer has lovely ladies in bikinis over for drinks in the front yard. They play in the sprinklers as he cranks up the music while wearing patriotic briefs and a tank top. That night, he saws things in the garage at 4am, attempting to become the most annoying neighbor on the block. Pierce unplugs the saw and the two get into it, with Lucifer demanding Pierce open up to him.
Chloe tries to reach them as she sees someone approaching. They’re fighting and don’t hear the walkie-talkie so she’s forced into chasing down the neighbor. It turns out to be Lucifer and Pierce’s dinner guest, Brian.
Brian’s brought in and he claims he’s just helping the police. He also claims he didn’t kill June and that he was her best customer. That’s how he had the energy to patrol at night, build a deck, and lose 40 pounds. He also says most of the neighborhood bought from June. The threatening note to her isn’t in his handwriting. Plus, he would have sawed the body up before putting it in the chipper.
Fortunately, Lucifer and Pierce’s cover is still intact so they throw a party, complete with a guest book. As the party gets underway, Lucifer complains he’s the only one putting any effort into it this relationship. (They previously argued over onion peels going into the disposal.) Their fight brings the party guests in close, with Pierce saying he’s only there because he has to be and that Lucifer makes everything all about him. Pierce also tells Lucifer he’s not a man of his word. The guests watch in shock as Lucifer storms out.
Chloe chases Lucifer down the street, reminding him he can’t leave in the middle of a sting. “I just can’t be around him right now,” says Lucifer, taking off his vest and looking perturbed. Chloe says people getting on each other’s nerves always happens in sting operations. She also says Pierce does care about what matters and begs him to go back to the party and get the signatures.
Lucifer returns and watches as Pierce rearranges food on the table the way that Lucifer wants it. He also sees Pierce adjust a party decoration. They make up while once again the guests look on. Lucifer reminds Pierce he’s a man of his word and even admits he doesn’t have all the answers. He hopes they can find them together. “After all, you may be the only person on this planet that truly understands me. I’m not ready to give up on that,” says Lucifer. The guests react with awws.
Lucifer grabs Pierce and plants an enormous kiss on his lips. Chloe, watching on the video monitor, gets up and looks out the window as the kiss continues. She assures them their cover is officially restored before reminding them to check the guest book for a matching signature.
Lucifer takes the book around, asking those who haven’t signed to do so. When he asks Brian’s wife, Brian stops her before she can write anything. Pierce attempts to stop the couple from leaving, and Brian grabs a pair of hedge trimmers. He tells everyone to stay back.
Chloe arrives and explains Brian saw his wife’s handwriting at the police station and knows she’s the killer. He’s trying to protect her now, but it won’t work. Anya thinks he was having an affair with June since he was always sneaking around with her and lost so much weight. She confronted June, but June denied it. She shoved June and hit her head, accidentally killing her.
Lucifer pipes up, saying Brian was just buying pills from June so he could lose weight. Brian wanted to go back to being the guy his wife fell in love with years ago. They hug and then Chloe slaps handcuffs on the couple.
Back at the station, Charlotte apologizes to Dan for their dinner. She admits she’s a mess and doesn’t feel normal yet. Dan says they’ve never been normal and he’s okay with that. He confesses he likes her and he can wait, if she needs time to sort things out.
Case solved, Chloe invites Pierce out for drinks with the gang. Pierce declines the offer and then tells her there can’t be anything romantic between them. “We deal with death every day. Everybody’s going to die; some day you’ll die,” says Pierce. Chloe understands but wants to know if they did have a moment in the surveillance van when she asked him to stay in LA. Pierce agrees they did share a moment, and that’s why he’s telling her now he’s not relationship material.
That evening, Lucifer asks Cain over and reveals he’s got him figured out. He knows Cain won’t get close to anyone because they’ll eventually die. Lucifer has figured out Cain wants to die because he doesn’t want to be alone anymore. But Cain has his own thoughts on Lucifer to share. He thinks Lucifer’s hanging out with him because he’s the only other celestial being around that Lucifer’s dad has screwed with. “You are the one who doesn’t want to be alone,” says Cain, and Lucifer decides it’s nice to have a friend.
Cain tells Lucifer it’s hard not to get attached while they’re on earth. Lucifer reminds Cain they both must be equally committed to finding a way to kill him, and Cain makes Lucifer happy by allowing him to see if death by chainsaw will work.
More on Lucifer Season 3:
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 1 “They’re Back, Aren’t They” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 2 “The One with the Baby Carrot” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 3 “Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 4 “What Would Lucifer Do?” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 5 “Welcome Back, Charlotte Richards” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 6 “Vegas With Some Radish” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 7 “Off the Record” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 8 “Chloe Does Lucifer” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 9 “The Sinnerman” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 10 “The Sin Bin” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 11 “City of Angels?” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 12 “All About Her” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 14 “My Brother’s Keeper” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 15 “High School Poppycock” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 16 “Infernal Guinea Pig” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 17 “Let Pinhead Sing!” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 18 “The Last Heartbreak” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 19 “Orange is the New Maze” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 20 “Angel of San Bernardino” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 21 “Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 23 “Quintessential Deckerstar” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 24 “A Devil of My Word” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Bonus Episode “Boo Normal” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Bonus Episode “Once Upon a Time” Recap