Fox’s Lucifer season three episode eight teases us with the possibility of a sexy scene featuring Lucifer (Tom Ellis) and Chloe (Lauren German). Alas, the partners in fighting crime are simply lying on the floor drinking wine, romantic candles lit, and sucking on lollipops while playing Monopoly with Trixie (Scarlett Estevez). The threesome argue over playing pieces and Trixie, of course, gets the upper hand while making a deal. No way does Lucifer believe he’s the game’s shoe, suggesting instead that he’s definitely the top hat.
Back at Lucifer’s place, Amenadiel (DB Woodside) shows up to pay his brother an unwelcome visit. Lucifer tries to play off that he’s been busy bedding lovely ladies, but Amenadiel wonders why he has a drawing on his face. Lucifer’s forced into admitting he made a deal with Trixie and wound up submitting to having his face painted.
Amenadiel’s happy his brother’s hanging out with Chloe and Trixie, but Lucifer takes offense when Amenadiel says he’s glad he enjoyed a quiet night in. The Devil has a reputation to uphold and face-painting and Monopoly aren’t part of it.
Amenadiel asks about Dr. Linda and learns about the death of her ex-husband, Reese. He takes off to check on how she’s doing, but not before telling Lucifer boring suits him.
Lucifer’s determined not to be boring but doesn’t mind labeling a murder victim as such, quickly determining she’s a “shoe.” Lucifer points out the dull colors, dull clothes, and dull decorations around the murder victim’s apartment. Turns out she’s Kim Jones, a computer engineer with a clean record, who died from blunt force trauma to the head. Chloe’s forced into explaining Lucifer’s boring shoe reference to Dan (Kevin Alejandro) who agrees Lucifer has changed. When Dan calls him normal, Lucifer’s ready to attack.
The team notice Esther the roommate is taking selfies. She asks for one final selfie with the handsome cop and Lucifer can’t believe she’s talking about Dan.
Esther (Mikaela Hoover) admits she wasn’t close with her roomie, but doesn’t think anyone wanted her dead. When Chloe asks if there was a recent breakup or anything like that, Esther recalls Kim got in an argument on the phone last night.
The argument was with someone from the company Top Meet, a dating app for LA’s fabulous singles. It’s super exclusive, so it’s weird Kim was talking to them.
The company’s owner, Mack Slater (Michael Rady), introduces himself and tells Chloe she’s exactly the Top Meet’s type. He really wants her to sign up for the dating service, but shows zero interest in Lucifer as a customer.
It turns out Kim was fighting with Mack. He says she was nuts and didn’t qualify for the service. She called constantly trying to get in and eventually hacked her way into the app. The users didn’t like her and she was kicked off. She went psycho on the phone.
Chloe asks for the list of clients who complained about Kim, but Mack won’t make it available. It’s confidential.
Ella (Aimee Garcia) arrives at work and Charlotte (Tricia Helfer) is in her office wanting to know about this darkness she sees in her. Ella can’t pin it down and even finds Charlotte’s attempts at jokes to be dark. Charlotte asks for her help in keeping her from going to Hell, explaining she’s learned the consequences to her darkness.
Ella refuses, saying she’s just too busy. Dan interrupts and Ella escapes without helping Charlotte. Dan also escapes without really talking to Charlotte either.
Dr. Linda (Rachael Harris) is at her office, busy planning Reese’s memorial service. Amenadiel arrives in time to give her his opinion on the plans. He’s also in time to get invited to help her out the following day.
Back at the station, they check out Kim Jones’ profile on the app and discover she had one match. It shows the man made a date for the night of Kim’s murder, but the app’s security is too tough for them to get through to see the match’s name. He only used his eyes as his profile picture, something that Lucifer thinks is a sign of low self-esteem. Ella points out the match, @Forever29, RSVPed for a Top Meet mixer.
The mixer’s happening that evening and Lucifer volunteers to go since he’s the only interesting single person around. Chloe points out Forever29’s a guy, and Lucifer doesn’t think that presents a problem. He’s good at flipping men, earning the nickname The Skillet. Chloe reluctantly says she’ll do it, believing it won’t be that hard to pretend to be shallow. “I’ll just channel my inner Lucifer,” says Chloe. Lucifer isn’t insulted and volunteers to train her.
It’s Ella’s turn to utter the episode’s title, saying, “Chloe Does Lucifer.” Lucifer warns his partner to get ready to go full him.
Lucifer and Chloe practice flirty small talk using dolls. It’s not going well and Chloe needs tips on being fascinating. No mentioning of Trixie, for starters. Lucifer takes over being Chloe in a new scenario that also doesn’t go well.
Back at the station, Ella does her best to avoid Charlotte. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work and Ella gets stuck in an elevator with Charlotte. Charlotte announces she’s been admitted to a program that allows her to shadow Ella.
The night of the mixer arrives and Chloe’s dressed to kill, looking like a female version of Lucifer. (Chloe’s going under the name Lucinda for the mixer.) Lucifer demands she wear an earbud since she’s totally out of her comfort zone.
Inside the party, the pretty people dance while Chloe looks for the suspect. Chloe’s attempt at being Lucinda kicks off with her issuing a “demented witch on crack”-sounding laugh. (That’s Lucifer’s description.) He tells her to try for a deep and sultry laugh, which also doesn’t go well. She quickly determines he’s not the suspect and moves on.
Up next, she makes contact with a guy who uses crappy pick-up lines. Chloe completely sucks at being Lucinda and winds up suggestively rubbing an olive all over her face while asking if the guy’s into splooshing. He leaves without answering.
Chloe’s done with this and removes her earbud. Lucifer decides he needs to go in as her wingman.
Lucifer sees her making small talk with a guy and it’s going well, despite the fact she’s brought up Trixie. Lucifer interrupts to tell her to put her mic back in which prompts the guy to make a run for it. They give chase and Dan stops him outside by the photographers. The guy mistakenly assumed Chloe and Lucifer were paparazzi and is relieved to learn they’re cops.
It turns out the blue-eyed man who tried to run is Benji (Sam Krumrine), and he admits to going on a date with Kim. In the interrogation room, Benji reveals after the date Esther was still there so he didn’t go upstairs. He knows Esther and went on two dates with her, just so he could see Kim again. Benji liked Kim and thought she was different. He could be himself around her.
Chloe wonders if Esther was jealous of Kim and killed her. Lucifer’s having an incredibly difficult time wrapping his head around the notion gorgeous Esther could have been jealous of a plain Jane. As they look through Esther’s social media posts, they spot a dumbbell that wasn’t at the crime scene. It could be the missing murder weapon.
Ella’s sneaking around the station, doing her best to avoid Charlotte. Charlotte figures it out and asks why Ella doesn’t want her around. Charlotte also wants to know how Ella is able to fake being interested in everyone’s lives. Ella finally realizes there isn’t a shadow program and she’s done attempting to play nice with Charlotte.
Amenadiel follows Dr. Linda around the beach as she talks about the setup for the memorial service. There will be 350 guests, something that takes Amenadiel by surprise. Linda reveals she feels terrible about not feeling terrible about Reese’s death. She’s only thinking about how everything affects her, and she’s also still not over her own brush with death at Charlotte’s hands.
Linda admits knowing the truth about Lucifer sucks. She’s a celestial insider now and it’s changed her. She can no longer hope reincarnation is real, and she begins tearing up wondering what it would have been like to be a chameleon. She also admits she knows where she’s heading when she dies. Amenadiel asks where she believes she’s going and Linda doesn’t say, but it’s obvious she thinks she’s going to Hell.
Lucifer and Chloe meet with Esther and show her the photo with the dumbbell. Esther confirms Lucifer was right – she doesn’t work out. The dumbbell was Kim’s because Kim wanted to be like Esther, according to the scantily-clad roomie. Chloe asks how it felt for Benji to want Kim, and Lucifer decides it’s time for his Jedi mind trick.
Esther confesses she really wants to stop all the posing and lying. She’s exhausted and it’s all a façade. She’s not worldly and she’s been using backdrops to fake being a globetrotter. Lucifer’s astonished when she admits she works out and the gym’s sauna is the most exotic place she’s been.
The dumbbell is Kim’s, and Esther also reveals Kim thought she was going to be coming into a lot of money very soon.
Lucifer can’t believe Esther’s a fake and he blames his inability to see other top hatters on hanging around Chloe too much. He’s off to hang with interesting people so he doesn’t become a shoe.
Back on the beach, Linda apologizes to Amenadiel for saying she regrets meeting all of them. Amenadiel asks her to join him lying on the sand and then explains that when he was an angel, he thought he knew everything. He’s found that looking up helps you gain perspective. He asks if she actually has fewer questions now that she knows their secrets, and she admits she has more but they’re different ones now.
Ella admits to Chloe she can’t figure out where the money was coming from. Charlotte appears and she overheard their talk about the dating app and did some digging on her own. She discovered an employment contract between Mack and Kim, drawn up two years ago. She hired him and it turns out she’s the one who built the app.
Ella, Chloe, and Charlotte discover Mack’s a complete fake. He was a spin instructor before running Top Meet. Chloe wonders what Mack brings to the equation and Charlotte says Mack would be more appealing to potential financial backers of the app. “Kim’s insecurities allowed Mack to take the credit,” deduces Chloe. Kim was going to take the app back, and that’s the windfall she was expecting.
The trio discuss Mack’s alibi and then Charlotte surprises Chloe and Ella by saying Mack probably took the murder weapon back to his place. It’s what first-timers do. Charlotte assures Chloe she won’t get a warrant, but Chloe thinks she can lure the killer out since she’s his type.
Meanwhile, Lucifer unexpectedly shows up at Mack’s place. He wants to get his groove back and thinks Mack’s the guy to help him find it.
Unfortunately, Mack has a previous engagement: Chloe’s already inside his house, wine glass in hand.
Lucifer pushes his way in and tries to get Chloe to leave. She claims to be having fun and tells him to leave. Mack listens and thinks there’s something going on between the two. (Nice catch, Mack.)
When Mack leaves the room, Chloe reveals she’s looking for the murder weapon. Lucifer can’t believe it and says, “Now you think Mack’s the killer? You’re just profiling fabulous people, aren’t you? Enough with this crusade against us already.”
Chloe quickly catches him up on Kim being the creator of Top Meet, and now Lucifer’s pissed Mack’s a phony. They try and figure out where the weapon is hidden and Lucifer suggests the fireplace. They find the dumbbell and Mack returns with a gun. Mack admits Kim wanted to make the app accessible to more people, which he thought would destroy it.
Chloe calls him just the face and says Kim was the brains. Lucifer adds that Mack is a fraud and boring. He also thinks he’s predictable and won’t let a statue of his head crash to the ground. Lucifer’s right and Mack drops the gun to catch the head.
Later, Lucifer visits Linda and provides the details of the case and what’s been going on recently in his life. Linda asks if this means he’s embracing his boring side. After Lucifer explains he doesn’t have one, he adds that people waste a lot of time trying to be interesting. Being interesting comes effortlessly to Lucifer, according to him.
He then asks how she’s doing and sincerely wants to know the answer. She quotes Oscar Wilde and it turns out Lucifer fed Oscar that particular line. They toast to Oscar and Linda wants to hear more. “Well, he was straight when I first met him,” begins Lucifer.
Charlotte visits Ella once again and admits she stole the contract which led them to Mack’s arrest. Ella forgives her for that because she did it for the right reasons. “Being good takes practice, okay? Just keep at it and you’ll get better,” explains Ella.
Charlotte takes the advice to heart and says she should probably take the job in the D.A.’s office putting criminals away. She credits Ella with talking her into it, even though it’s a pay cut. That means she’ll be around the station more.
Trixie and Chloe sit down for a new game of Monopoly. They discuss “Lucinda” and Chloe admits she had fun once she acted like herself. She tells Trixie being who you really are is never a bad idea. Trixie notices the shoe game piece is missing.
Over at Lucifer’s place, the Monopoly shoe sits on his piano while he tinkles away at the keys. A stunning brunette wearing a top hat and lingerie asks him if he’s coming to bed, and he suggests Monopoly and face painting instead. She doesn’t answer and Lucifer heads into the bedroom with his new conquest.
More on Lucifer Season 3:
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 1 “They’re Back, Aren’t They” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 2 “The One with the Baby Carrot” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 3 “Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 4 “What Would Lucifer Do?” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 5 “Welcome Back, Charlotte Richards” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 6 “Vegas With Some Radish” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 7 “Off the Record” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 9 “The Sinnerman” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 10 “The Sin Bin” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 11 “City of Angels?” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 12 “All About Her” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 13 “Til Death Do Us Part” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 14 “My Brother’s Keeper” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 15 “High School Poppycock” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 16 “Infernal Guinea Pig” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 17 “Let Pinhead Sing!” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 18 “The Last Heartbreak” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 19 “Orange is the New Maze” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 20 “Angel of San Bernardino” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 21 “Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 23 “Quintessential Deckerstar” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Episode 24 “A Devil of My Word” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Bonus Episode “Boo Normal” Recap
– Lucifer Season 3 Bonus Episode “Once Upon a Time” Recap